Publix's new pay system: High performance, smaller paycheck
Even good employees can face pay cuts in a new pay plan at Publix that includes penalties as well as rewards.
By Mark Albright, Times Staff Writer
Published March 25, 2007
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[Times photo: Keri Wiginton]
Ray O'Connor, 75, stands in front of the Publix where he has been a bagger for 10 years. His pay was recently docked 25 cents an hour.
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After bagging groceries at Publix for nine years, Ray O'Connor was stunned when his bosses called his work "successful" then cut his pay a quarter to $8 an hour.
"I think they just want to get rid of me," said the 75-year-old Spring Hill man who works part-time to supplement his police officer pension. "They said I wasn't improving. Improve what? I've never dealt with anything like this in my life."
Now he has trouble sleeping. He's embarrassed when peers talk about pay. Nobody mentioned it, but he wonders if it's his age. He's talking of seeing a lawyer, but not quitting "until I get this blemish off my record."
O'Connor is among the first intended consequences of a new pay plan adopted by the nation's sixth largest supermarket chain. Lakeland-based Publix Super Markets Inc. spent years creating a "Tie Pay To Performance" plan that offers penalties as well as rewards.
Mass merchants have used performance incentives for years, but they're usually tied to a store's performance and meant to foster teamwork. Publix zeroes in on each worker and adds the unconventional twist of institutionalizing disincentives - even for top performers.
"We want a customer experience the customer deserves and expects at Publix, so we are rewarding people for hard work while increasing what we pay overall," said Shannon Patten, spokeswoman for the grocer that employs 142,000 people full- and part-time in five states. "But some associates face a decrease if their performance slips."
Here's how it works. Top performers - many of whom pocketed raises two to three times and up to $1 an hour more than what they were used to getting - love it. Others are getting their standard raises. Many must resolve to work harder. In February, 19 percent of employees up for review got no raise and 4 percent took pay cuts.
Publix says the plan is working. In August, 68 percent of hourly workers got a raise. The rest were put on six-month notice they had to shape up. Six months later in February, 77 percent got reviews good enough for raises, showing more workers got the message.
It's a culture shock at a chain already named one of the nation's 100 best employers, that consistently rates tops in Consumer Reports customer service ratings, and was just named the best of 19 major retail chains rated by the University of Michigan Customer Satisfaction Index.
For years, virtually all Publix store workers could count on a modest annual raise. Not now. Semi-annual evaluations, based on supervisors' numerical ratings in 21 areas, grade workers as role model, superior, successful or two types of needs-work-to-keep-the-job. The rating is matched to a performance pay range for each job. Publix gives workers a six-month warning to improve their performance to keep their current pay rate. That goes for top-rated "role models," too.
O'Connor, for instance, was rated "successful" the past two years with all his scores above average. Yet his seniority already put him at the top of the bagger pay range. So his pay was cut.
"Before this I was rated successful at 107 points and got a raise," he recalled. "Then I got a 123 and a 114 my past two evaluations and lost money." In August his supervisor wrote he needed to offer cart carry-out to more shoppers. In February he suggested O'Connor stay busier in slow times and coach younger baggers.
Publix declines to talk specifically about O'Connor's case. But the company - which employs 4,500 people over 70, 750 over 80 and two over 90 - says it's not about age. Internal reviews of those hit with pay cuts found all age groups.
Without a union contract, no federal or Florida law stops an employer from cutting pay. "But I've never heard of a plan that docks pay," said David Szymanski, chairman of the retail studies program at Texas A&M. "If you want to get rid of somebody for performance, just counsel them out."
Studies find retail employees want plans that reward performance and prod slackers to shape up. But inflation makes being passed over for a raise a pay cut. And some experts question taking money away from low level part-timers because it's divisive and undermines teamwork.
"I've never seen a pay-for-performance plan that works because it brings the top-performing lions out to feed on everybody else," said Terri Kabachnick, a Largo retail HR consultant and author of I Quit but I Forgot to Tell You. "It's worse in supermarkets where people don't control outcomes. Their day is go here, go there, clean up this spill. If you don't get along with the manager, forget it."
Is it wise to use money as an disincentive? "Cold hard cash leaves employees feeling ... well, cold," Kabachnick said.
It's a trend that began when department stores saw pay-for-performance as a cheaper alternative to commissioned sales jobs.
"In supermarkets, however, store managers often are not as sophisticated in HR practices," said Bart Weitz, chairman of the retailing program at the University of Florida.
It's not about the money to O'Connor. He has health insurance and works fewer than 25 hours a week. So with the pay cut he's only out $3 to $5 a week. "It's the principle," he said. "It's time somebody tells these big companies to stop stepping on the little guy."
Mark Albright can be reached at albright@sptimes.com or 727893-8252.
[Last modified March 23, 2007, 21:56:06]
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Comments on this article by Mike 03/27/07 11:16 AM
Bagging groceries only brings so much value to a company. What I can't believe is that we are paying baggers so much for such a menial task. For the rest of you complaining about management, you can remain the victim or take charge of your life
by doug 03/27/07 10:44 AM
What hair-brained MBA thought this new pay/performance system up. You can say 20 plus years of positive image down the drains.
by john 03/27/07 10:40 AM
Publix is getting worse. I used to shop at the Publix in downtown St. Pete. Try to find a manager around 6:00 pm when it's busy and all the lanes are full. I'll spend my money elsewhere.
by Dylan 03/27/07 08:58 AM
With everything so expensive how can you make a living working at publix. Find another job!
by Marie 03/27/07 08:28 AM
Way to go. Take away pennies from the people who live paycheck to paycheck. DON'T SHOP AT PUBLIX!!
by Tracy 03/27/07 07:53 AM
Has anyone ever had to deal with publix management? They need a drop in pay more than anyone else. Publix Corp should be assessing the management who runs their stores, not the man who is working hard to make ends meet. They should be ashamed.
by JT 03/27/07 07:52 AM
I use to work at Publix many years ago, its the same where I work today (US Airways). The Fat cat get fatter, and the price a loaf a bread keeps going through the roof for all of us...
by Paul 03/27/07 07:14 AM
Lets see, he bagged for them for nine years? I think he deserves a raise just for that! He received appreciation awards for treatment of customers...yet he doesn't do carry out as much as he should? He doesn't train younger baggers for $8 an hour??
by Mr. David 03/27/07 05:44 AM
Looks like Publix' "Plantation Style" management has finally been outed. It may be a pleasure to shop there (if you like high prices), but from what I've heard and rread, it's not the greatest place to work...Unless you're in management.
by Marty 03/26/07 11:54 PM
They just took a quarter away ....No notice. No Evaluation.
by Greeneyez 03/26/07 11:46 PM
What is so far fetched is that proformance evaluations are ultimently up to one personour dept. mangager. If they feel threated or intimidated in any way by you...they can set you up for sabotage. IT SUCKS! PUBLIX HAS NO CLUE!
by bobby 03/26/07 11:45 PM
I have actually worked with Ray, its not an age thing, its a not doing your job thing. Why should he make more than I if I'm working my butt off trying to progress with the company and he just stands around and watches me bag orders?
by just me 03/26/07 11:26 PM
Working at Publix, it seems this plan is for only certain people. This company is full of clicks, relatives, so if you are related...you have "NO" worries for getting pay cuts. Just ask around.
by VAL 03/26/07 10:52 PM
ISSUES PLEASE TRY TO KEEP THEM AT HOME. SUCH AS A DEATH IN THE FAMILY PLEASE TRY TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP NOT THINK ABOUT IT TO MUCH WORK WORK WORK, THEY SAY THERE SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT THEY WANT U 2 WORK CRAZY AND CUSTOMER SER. A
by VAL 03/26/07 10:51 PM
PUBLIX IS A VERY GOOD COMPANY TO WORK FOR BUT THERE MAIN FOCUS IS ALWAYS CUSTOMER SERVICE,WHERE I THINK THEY ARE UNFAIR IS YOUR WORK HARD BST YOUR TAIL EVERYDAY. THE BIG THING TO THEM IS U BETTER B HERE ON TIME, NOT SICK TO MUCH ,IF U HAVE FAMILY
by val 03/26/07 10:48 PM
I DISAGREE WITH THIS PAYCUT JUNK, I BEEN WITH THE COMPANY SINCE I WAS 17 NOW IM 28 , SOMEONE AT MY JOB JUST GOT CUT.25 THEY SAID HE DONT TALK 2 CUSTOMER'S MUCH BT THE MANAGER'S DON'T SEE U 24-7 SAY HOW WOULD THEY KNOW. IT'S WRONG AND NOT RIGHT!!!!!!
by LJ 03/26/07 10:37 PM
4% of workers got a pay decrease...according to the title of this article, those are high performers. Reality is that they are the bottom 4% of performers. Looks like most of the comments here are by bottom feeders, too. Misery loves company!
by Lynn 03/26/07 09:57 PM
I would much rather have an older retired person bagging my groceries or at the cash register than these 16-17 year old high school students who just talk to each other while I stand there waiting in line. The older people are more genuine!
by Carolyn 03/26/07 09:53 PM
Publix charges the highest prices but sounds like the cheapest place to work for. A ten year dedicated employee getting a cut in pay? Think Publix just knows can replace with a 15 y/o kid who only expects min wage. Will avoid my once favorite store!
by DMC 03/26/07 09:45 PM
My mom has worked for Publix since the mid-1980s Her most recent review resulted in a pay cut also. She told me the major reason she still works there is the health insurance benefit, which isn't all that great.
by Victoria 03/26/07 08:57 PM
I have always met kind, considerate employees at Publix (VS other stores..) and am appalled at the way they are treating their employees. If someone doesnt do a good job, then fire them. This makes it too easy to cut back on payroll. Lawsuit!!
by Jane 03/26/07 08:30 PM
I'm up for a eval in a few weeks, I'm holding my breath. My mgr & I have a so/so relationship. I work my tail off, always asking for the oppty. to learn more. Much to my dismay, my mgr blows it off. So successful, not superior is b/c I'm at his mercy
by Brian 03/26/07 06:37 PM
I'd bet real money the members of what has been labeled "the greatest generation" are far more conscientious of their work ethic than the corporate "supervisors" that implement that plan. Publix is just using the little guy as an excuse. No, I'm 44.
by Candy 03/26/07 04:56 PM
re:comments by Brenda-Only F/T employees get benefits right away. P/T wait 1 yr or 1000 continued hours worked-no sick time,no pd holidays, no vacation time. I just started working for them & already found it's NOT the ideal company to work for.
by Jim 03/26/07 04:44 PM
They've been cutting truck drivers pay for years. Cutting the pay on their runs then making them work longer hours to make up for it. Ask a driver the last time they got any kind of raise.
by Bruce 03/26/07 04:34 PM
Reviews are correctly known as "merit reviews" in HR circles. People are not entitled to raises; their performance must merit it. If O'Connor was not performing up to the high standards to earn the high (for baggers)pay,why should he receive it?
by al 03/26/07 03:48 PM
Not sure were you people live. But florida is a right to work state. If they want to fire people, they can simply fire them. So work harder, find a differnet job. At 8 dollars an hour, can find other work.
by Josh 03/26/07 03:07 PM
Discriminating against the older folks seems like the opposite of what they should be doing. All the teenaged/young employees at my local Publix are horribly rude and couldn't bag gorceries if their life depended on it.
by Ellen 03/26/07 02:41 PM
Boycott Publix.
by Tony 03/26/07 02:35 PM
I want to know how many corporate people received pay cuts if any for lack of performance. What a cheap outfit. Don't cut the pay of the people who do all the work, cut the pay of the stupid mnager who hired them and failed to properly train.
by Sue 03/26/07 01:33 PM
I hope store managers read this: HEADS UP! Tell your cashiers/baggers to STOP CHEWING GUM in the faces of your patrons. They look and sound like cows. Watch what happens after groceries are bagged - if they don't hand them to the customer...bye-bye!
by Bull 03/26/07 01:17 PM
Maybe the St Pete Times could do a store on How "company greed" affects the citizens of our state............
by Georgefromthepast 03/26/07 12:15 PM
I can't believe whats going on .It's the begining of the end. Unhappy associates
by Bj 03/26/07 11:07 AM
Management through intimidation is backwards and never works. Publix's new policy is too subjective. If an employee's reviewer simply does not like him/her (for whatever reason, i.e., dosen't walk fast enough), then forget it, the review is biased.
by Joe 03/26/07 10:33 AM
In my 70's, working at Publix 10 years,last evaluation SUPERIOR !! I'm facing a pay cut if I don't improve!!!! It's just not fair!!!!!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Miami Police New Tack against Terror.
Miami Police Take New Tack Against Terror
Nov 28 09:28 PM US/Eastern
By CURT ANDERSON
Associated Press Writer
MIAMI (AP) - Miami police announced Monday they will stage random shows of force at hotels, banks and other public places to keep terrorists guessing and remind people to be vigilant.
Deputy Police Chief Frank Fernandez said officers might, for example, surround a bank building, check the IDs of everyone going in and out and hand out leaflets about terror threats.
"This is an in-your-face type of strategy. It's letting the terrorists know we are out there," Fernandez said.
The operations will keep terrorists off guard, Fernandez said. He said al-Qaida and other terrorist groups plot attacks by putting places under surveillance and watching for flaws and patterns in security.
Police Chief John Timoney said there was no specific, credible threat of an imminent terror attack in Miami. But he said the city has repeatedly been mentioned in intelligence reports as a potential target.
Timoney also noted that 14 of the 19 hijackers who took part in the Sept. 11 attacks lived in South Florida at various times and that other alleged terror cells have operated in the area.
Both uniformed and plainclothes police will ride buses and trains, while others will conduct longer-term surveillance operations.
"People are definitely going to notice it," Fernandez said. "We want that shock. We want that awe. But at the same time, we don't want people to feel their rights are being threatened. We need them to be our eyes and ears."
Howard Simon, executive director of ACLU of Florida, said the Miami initiative appears aimed at ensuring that people's rights are not violated.
"What we're dealing with is officers on street patrol, which is more effective and more consistent with the Constitution," Simon said. "We'll have to see how it is implemented."
Mary Ann Viverette, president of the International Association of Chiefs of Police, said the Miami program is similar to those used for years during the holiday season to deter criminals at busy places such as shopping malls.
"You want to make your presence known and that's a great way to do it," said Viverette, police chief in Gaithersburg, Md. "We want people to feel they can go about their normal course of business, but we want them to be aware."
Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Nov 28 09:28 PM US/Eastern
By CURT ANDERSON
Associated Press Writer
MIAMI (AP) - Miami police announced Monday they will stage random shows of force at hotels, banks and other public places to keep terrorists guessing and remind people to be vigilant.
Deputy Police Chief Frank Fernandez said officers might, for example, surround a bank building, check the IDs of everyone going in and out and hand out leaflets about terror threats.
"This is an in-your-face type of strategy. It's letting the terrorists know we are out there," Fernandez said.
The operations will keep terrorists off guard, Fernandez said. He said al-Qaida and other terrorist groups plot attacks by putting places under surveillance and watching for flaws and patterns in security.
Police Chief John Timoney said there was no specific, credible threat of an imminent terror attack in Miami. But he said the city has repeatedly been mentioned in intelligence reports as a potential target.
Timoney also noted that 14 of the 19 hijackers who took part in the Sept. 11 attacks lived in South Florida at various times and that other alleged terror cells have operated in the area.
Both uniformed and plainclothes police will ride buses and trains, while others will conduct longer-term surveillance operations.
"People are definitely going to notice it," Fernandez said. "We want that shock. We want that awe. But at the same time, we don't want people to feel their rights are being threatened. We need them to be our eyes and ears."
Howard Simon, executive director of ACLU of Florida, said the Miami initiative appears aimed at ensuring that people's rights are not violated.
"What we're dealing with is officers on street patrol, which is more effective and more consistent with the Constitution," Simon said. "We'll have to see how it is implemented."
Mary Ann Viverette, president of the International Association of Chiefs of Police, said the Miami program is similar to those used for years during the holiday season to deter criminals at busy places such as shopping malls.
"You want to make your presence known and that's a great way to do it," said Viverette, police chief in Gaithersburg, Md. "We want people to feel they can go about their normal course of business, but we want them to be aware."
Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
ROVE NO TRANSCRIPT NO OATH IN PRIVATE
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White House offers interview with Rove
By LAURIE KELLMAN, Associated Press Writer 7 minutes ago
The White House pushed back Tuesday against Democrats demanding answers on the firings of federal prosecutors, refusing to allow President Bush's top aides to testify publicly and under oath about their roles in the dismissals.
Bush gave his embattled attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, a boost during an early morning call to his longtime friend and planned to end the day with a public statement in support of him.
Several Democrats, including presidential hopefuls Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barrack Obama, Joe Biden and John Edwards, have called for Gonzales' resignation. So have a handful of Republican lawmakers.
The Senate, meanwhile, voted to strip Gonzales of his authority to fill U.S. attorney vacancies without Senate confirmation. Democrats contend the Justice Department and White House purged eight federal prosecutors, some of whom were leading political corruption investigations, after a change in the Patriot Act gave Gonzales the new authority.
"What happened in this case sends a signal really through intimidation by purge: 'Don't quarrel with us any longer,'" said Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (news, bio, voting record), D-R.I., a former U.S. attorney who spent much of Monday evening paging through 3,000 documents released by the Justice Department.
White House Counsel Fred Fielding told lawmakers they could interview presidential counselor Karl Rove, former White House Counsel Harriet Miers and their deputies — but only on the president's terms: in private, "without the need for an oath" and without a transcript.
"We trust and believe that the accommodation we offer here, in addition to what the Department of Justice has provided, should satisfy the committee's interests," Fielding wrote in a letter to the House and Senate judiciary committees' Democratic chairmen and senior Republicans.
Republicans cast the offer as fair and virtually unprecedented. Democrats rejected it and vowed to start authorizing subpoenas as soon as Wednesday for the White House aides.
"It's sort of giving us the opportunity to talk to them, but not giving us the opportunity to get to the bottom of what really happened here," said Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y.
Even without oaths, the aides would be legally required to tell the truth to Congress. But without a transcript of their comments, "it would be almost meaningless to say that they would be under some kind of legal sanction," Schumer complained.
Fielding's meeting on Capitol Hill came a few hours after Bush personally gave Gonzales a boost during an early morning phone call — their first conversation since the president had acknowledged mistakes by his longtime friend and lawmakers of both parties had called for Gonzales' ouster.
Bush was to counter those with a statement of support, the White House said. The president was also to talk about his position on the offer Fielding made to Congress.
The White House offered to arrange interviews with Rove, Miers, deputy White House counsel William Kelley and J. Scott Jennings, a deputy to White House political director Sara Taylor, who works for Rove.
"Such interviews would be private and conducted without the need for an oath, transcript, subsequent testimony or the subsequent issuance of subpoenas," Fielding said in his letter.
He said the documents released by the Justice Department "do not reflect that any U.S. attorney was replaced to interfere with a pending or future criminal investigation or for any other improper reason."
Copyright © 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Copyright © 2007 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.
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Yahoo! News
White House offers interview with Rove
By LAURIE KELLMAN, Associated Press Writer 7 minutes ago
The White House pushed back Tuesday against Democrats demanding answers on the firings of federal prosecutors, refusing to allow President Bush's top aides to testify publicly and under oath about their roles in the dismissals.
Bush gave his embattled attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, a boost during an early morning call to his longtime friend and planned to end the day with a public statement in support of him.
Several Democrats, including presidential hopefuls Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barrack Obama, Joe Biden and John Edwards, have called for Gonzales' resignation. So have a handful of Republican lawmakers.
The Senate, meanwhile, voted to strip Gonzales of his authority to fill U.S. attorney vacancies without Senate confirmation. Democrats contend the Justice Department and White House purged eight federal prosecutors, some of whom were leading political corruption investigations, after a change in the Patriot Act gave Gonzales the new authority.
"What happened in this case sends a signal really through intimidation by purge: 'Don't quarrel with us any longer,'" said Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (news, bio, voting record), D-R.I., a former U.S. attorney who spent much of Monday evening paging through 3,000 documents released by the Justice Department.
White House Counsel Fred Fielding told lawmakers they could interview presidential counselor Karl Rove, former White House Counsel Harriet Miers and their deputies — but only on the president's terms: in private, "without the need for an oath" and without a transcript.
"We trust and believe that the accommodation we offer here, in addition to what the Department of Justice has provided, should satisfy the committee's interests," Fielding wrote in a letter to the House and Senate judiciary committees' Democratic chairmen and senior Republicans.
Republicans cast the offer as fair and virtually unprecedented. Democrats rejected it and vowed to start authorizing subpoenas as soon as Wednesday for the White House aides.
"It's sort of giving us the opportunity to talk to them, but not giving us the opportunity to get to the bottom of what really happened here," said Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y.
Even without oaths, the aides would be legally required to tell the truth to Congress. But without a transcript of their comments, "it would be almost meaningless to say that they would be under some kind of legal sanction," Schumer complained.
Fielding's meeting on Capitol Hill came a few hours after Bush personally gave Gonzales a boost during an early morning phone call — their first conversation since the president had acknowledged mistakes by his longtime friend and lawmakers of both parties had called for Gonzales' ouster.
Bush was to counter those with a statement of support, the White House said. The president was also to talk about his position on the offer Fielding made to Congress.
The White House offered to arrange interviews with Rove, Miers, deputy White House counsel William Kelley and J. Scott Jennings, a deputy to White House political director Sara Taylor, who works for Rove.
"Such interviews would be private and conducted without the need for an oath, transcript, subsequent testimony or the subsequent issuance of subpoenas," Fielding said in his letter.
He said the documents released by the Justice Department "do not reflect that any U.S. attorney was replaced to interfere with a pending or future criminal investigation or for any other improper reason."
Copyright © 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Copyright © 2007 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.
Questions or Comments
Privacy Policy -Terms of Service - Copyright/IP Policy - Ad Feedback
2006 Election Ushers in the Casinos ....
"If the state were to lower the tax rate you would see a much greater capital investment in the gaming facilities," said Joseph Weinert, vice president of Spectrum Gaming Group, a gaming consultancy. Weinert also said the next governor may have some wiggle room in negotiating with gambling interests that could see slots added to pari-mutuel facilities statewide. While Crist and Davis say they are against gambling "expansion," adding slots to existing pari-mutuels may not fit into that description, Weinert said.
For state's gambling industry, a new era begins with Tuesday's elections
By ADRIAN SAINZ
Associated Press
Posted November 2 2006, 11:25 AM EST
FORT LAUDERDALE -- For eight years, the state's growing gambling industry has faced a staunch opponent in the governor's mansion.
Gov. Jeb Bush has never hidden his disdain for gambling, including his fight against adding Las Vegas-style slot machines at Broward County pari-mutuel facilities. State and Broward voters approved the machines, however, and he grudgingly signed the law governing them.
But Bush is out in January due to term limits, and either Republican Charlie Crist or Democrat Jim Davis will confront further growth attempts by the industry, which has pumped big money into Florida's election.
Crist's campaign has received at least $5,000 from individuals with gambling connections while the state Republican Party has received more than $125,000. Davis' campaign has received at least $1,500 from individuals with gambling connections and the state Democratic Party has received at least $250,000.
Despite those donations, both say they are opposed to further gambling in the state. Tuesday's winner will also have to negotiate with Indian tribes over the Vegas-style slots they'll be able to install in their casinos statewide because of the Broward vote.
``Neither Jim Davis nor Charlie Crist are pro-gambling, but either of them are less vehemently anti-gambling than Jeb was," said state Sen. Steve Geller, D-Hallandale Beach. A gaming supporter, he is crafting a bill to change some of the state's slot machine regulations. ``Neither of the two guys will be great for the industry."
The state already has poker, horse and dog racing and jai-alai, which saw $331 million in wagers through the first eight months of the year. It also has untaxed ``cruises to nowhere" that provide Vegas-style gambling once they reach international waters.
The Indian casinos, including the thriving Seminole Hard Rock casinos in Tampa and Hollywood and Miccosukee Indian Gaming west of Miami, have poker and video lottery machines that are similar to slots. The Indian casinos do not pay state taxes because they are owned by sovereign tribes _ although other states have negotiated deals allowing their tribes Vegas-style games like blackjack and roulette in exchange for a tax. Bush's attempt to negotiate with Florida's tribes stalled earlier this year.
After the Florida Gaming Summit in Hollywood last month, a statement posted on its Web site cited research from Wachovia Capital Markets that the estimated 6,000 Broward slot machines will generate at least $700 million in wagering annually. The first are expected to open later this month.
Gambling has its share of opponents. In a statement on its Web site, the Christian Coalition of Florida says gambling is a danger to society that produces ``huge financial and social costs" that puts families in risk.
Still, the industry is intent on growth. According to Geller, many of the state's pari-mutuels outside Broward want their own slot machines to keep pace with Dania Jai-Alai, Pompano Park harness racing, Mardi Gras Track and Gaming Center and Gulfstream Park thoroughbred track.
Gulfstream and Pompano, known as ``racinos," are spending millions to improve their facilities ahead of the introduction of slots. At Pompano _ owned by Isle of Capri Casinos Inc. _ a new 157,000-square foot building includes space for 1,500 slot machines, a bar and four restaurants including a steakhouse and New York deli, at a cost of about $155 million. It's set to open early next year.
``We're not just throwing slot machines in a room," said Doug Shipley, vice president of racinos for Isle of Capri. ``We're striving for a total entertainment destination."
Meanwhile, casino and gaming companies donated heavily to federal and state campaigns.
In state races, including the gubernatorial and legislative contests, gambling interests doled out more than $1.8 million, according to followthemoney.org. It's a Web site run by The Institute on Money in State Politics that tracks state campaign contributions. Pompano Park alone contributed $431,550, the Web site showed.
In Florida congressional races, gambling interests contributed more than $67,000, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.
And, a pro-gambling political action committee called Yes for Better Schools and Jobs has received more than $7 million in contributions. The PAC is leading the campaign to again bring a slot machine measure before Miami-Dade County voters, who rejected slots last year when Broward voters approved them.
Geller said races for House and Senate seats also could affect gambling's future. He wants to change some rules the state has affixed to slot operations, including lowering the tax rate on the machines from 50 percent to 35 percent. His bill also would call for an elimination of a 1,500 machines per pari-mutuel cap and allow ATMs and free or discounted drinks at locations where slot machines exist.
Many in the industry argue the 50 percent rate and other restrictions would limit economic development around the casinos _ restaurants, nightclubs, shops and entertainment venues.
``If the state were to lower the tax rate you would see a much greater capital investment in the gaming facilities," said Joseph Weinert, vice president of Spectrum Gaming Group, a gaming consultancy.
Weinert also said the next governor may have some wiggle room in negotiating with gambling interests that could see slots added to pari-mutuel facilities statewide. While Crist and Davis say they are against gambling ``expansion," adding slots to existing pari-mutuels may not fit into that description, Weinert said.
``It's just seen as a different form of gambling ... in a place where it already exists," he said.
©2004 Michael Pollock's Gaming Observer. Designed and Hosted by
For state's gambling industry, a new era begins with Tuesday's elections
By ADRIAN SAINZ
Associated Press
Posted November 2 2006, 11:25 AM EST
FORT LAUDERDALE -- For eight years, the state's growing gambling industry has faced a staunch opponent in the governor's mansion.
Gov. Jeb Bush has never hidden his disdain for gambling, including his fight against adding Las Vegas-style slot machines at Broward County pari-mutuel facilities. State and Broward voters approved the machines, however, and he grudgingly signed the law governing them.
But Bush is out in January due to term limits, and either Republican Charlie Crist or Democrat Jim Davis will confront further growth attempts by the industry, which has pumped big money into Florida's election.
Crist's campaign has received at least $5,000 from individuals with gambling connections while the state Republican Party has received more than $125,000. Davis' campaign has received at least $1,500 from individuals with gambling connections and the state Democratic Party has received at least $250,000.
Despite those donations, both say they are opposed to further gambling in the state. Tuesday's winner will also have to negotiate with Indian tribes over the Vegas-style slots they'll be able to install in their casinos statewide because of the Broward vote.
``Neither Jim Davis nor Charlie Crist are pro-gambling, but either of them are less vehemently anti-gambling than Jeb was," said state Sen. Steve Geller, D-Hallandale Beach. A gaming supporter, he is crafting a bill to change some of the state's slot machine regulations. ``Neither of the two guys will be great for the industry."
The state already has poker, horse and dog racing and jai-alai, which saw $331 million in wagers through the first eight months of the year. It also has untaxed ``cruises to nowhere" that provide Vegas-style gambling once they reach international waters.
The Indian casinos, including the thriving Seminole Hard Rock casinos in Tampa and Hollywood and Miccosukee Indian Gaming west of Miami, have poker and video lottery machines that are similar to slots. The Indian casinos do not pay state taxes because they are owned by sovereign tribes _ although other states have negotiated deals allowing their tribes Vegas-style games like blackjack and roulette in exchange for a tax. Bush's attempt to negotiate with Florida's tribes stalled earlier this year.
After the Florida Gaming Summit in Hollywood last month, a statement posted on its Web site cited research from Wachovia Capital Markets that the estimated 6,000 Broward slot machines will generate at least $700 million in wagering annually. The first are expected to open later this month.
Gambling has its share of opponents. In a statement on its Web site, the Christian Coalition of Florida says gambling is a danger to society that produces ``huge financial and social costs" that puts families in risk.
Still, the industry is intent on growth. According to Geller, many of the state's pari-mutuels outside Broward want their own slot machines to keep pace with Dania Jai-Alai, Pompano Park harness racing, Mardi Gras Track and Gaming Center and Gulfstream Park thoroughbred track.
Gulfstream and Pompano, known as ``racinos," are spending millions to improve their facilities ahead of the introduction of slots. At Pompano _ owned by Isle of Capri Casinos Inc. _ a new 157,000-square foot building includes space for 1,500 slot machines, a bar and four restaurants including a steakhouse and New York deli, at a cost of about $155 million. It's set to open early next year.
``We're not just throwing slot machines in a room," said Doug Shipley, vice president of racinos for Isle of Capri. ``We're striving for a total entertainment destination."
Meanwhile, casino and gaming companies donated heavily to federal and state campaigns.
In state races, including the gubernatorial and legislative contests, gambling interests doled out more than $1.8 million, according to followthemoney.org. It's a Web site run by The Institute on Money in State Politics that tracks state campaign contributions. Pompano Park alone contributed $431,550, the Web site showed.
In Florida congressional races, gambling interests contributed more than $67,000, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.
And, a pro-gambling political action committee called Yes for Better Schools and Jobs has received more than $7 million in contributions. The PAC is leading the campaign to again bring a slot machine measure before Miami-Dade County voters, who rejected slots last year when Broward voters approved them.
Geller said races for House and Senate seats also could affect gambling's future. He wants to change some rules the state has affixed to slot operations, including lowering the tax rate on the machines from 50 percent to 35 percent. His bill also would call for an elimination of a 1,500 machines per pari-mutuel cap and allow ATMs and free or discounted drinks at locations where slot machines exist.
Many in the industry argue the 50 percent rate and other restrictions would limit economic development around the casinos _ restaurants, nightclubs, shops and entertainment venues.
``If the state were to lower the tax rate you would see a much greater capital investment in the gaming facilities," said Joseph Weinert, vice president of Spectrum Gaming Group, a gaming consultancy.
Weinert also said the next governor may have some wiggle room in negotiating with gambling interests that could see slots added to pari-mutuel facilities statewide. While Crist and Davis say they are against gambling ``expansion," adding slots to existing pari-mutuels may not fit into that description, Weinert said.
``It's just seen as a different form of gambling ... in a place where it already exists," he said.
©2004 Michael Pollock's Gaming Observer. Designed and Hosted by
http://www.fsupikes.com/reunions.htm
* Florida State Pikes Now Officially A "Dynasty"
* 2006 Overall Intramural Champions
* Charlie Crist for Governor
President's Monthly
Message
Fall Rush 2006 is here and we are actively recruiting new members.
...Read more
Chapter Achievements
Pikes Illustrated is the 16-page, color magazine published annually
by our Chapter as a way of communicating our success to our alumni and to prospective members. ...Read more
2006 - Delta Lambda, Florida State University Chapter
Address questions and comments to the Webmistress
Brother Charlie Crist '76 Becomes Florida's 44th Governor
Charlie Crist during his College days at FSU
Charlie at Pike Pig Roast with SMC Vern Vokus '76 and Kevin Smith '78. Charlie served Delta Lambda as Vice President (IMC) and Little Sister Coordinator as well as quarterback of our IM football team.
In this famous photograph, Charlie accepts the 1977 Homecoming Chief Trophy from 1976 Homecoming Chief Fred Miller '73. Fred started at linebacker and fullback for FSU until brought down by injuries. He volunteered for cheerleader and continued to lead the Seminoles from the sideline. Fred Miller was President of Pi Kappa Alpha, and Charlie Crist was Vice President of Pi Kappa Alpha, and Vice President of the FSU Student Body.
Charlie served Florida State University as Vice President of the Student Body. Charlie and date at Sheridan Cavitt Memorial Blow-out. Charlie also served Delta Lambda as Little Sister Coordinator.
A natural leader and gifted athlete, Charlie quarterbacked Delta Lambda's IM Football teams. In the background, Alan "NightOwl" Winslette ' 77 along with teammates Ken Furth '75 and Russell Sexton '77 can be identified.
The Pikes are among the gubernatorial candidate's formidable
cross section of financial backers
Pikes, from left, are Brian Ditthardt '78, Bill Gregory '77, Jim Kidder '79,
Stuart McKown '78, Tom Wheeler '78, Crist '76, Lou Andreanna '79, Brent Sembler '78, Jay Hurley '79, Mike Fernandez '77.
By STEVE BOUSQUET
Times Staff Writer
Tallahassee -- The Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity brothers from Florida State -- "Pikes," as they are known -- do more than hold reunions and cheer for Seminole football.
They also raise money for a frat brother, Attorney General Charlie Crist, who's on his way to shattering all fundraising records in his quest to become Florida's next governor.
Crist raised $10.6- million through June in the first stage of the race, the Sept. 5 Republican primary against Tom Gallagher, who has raised $7.8 million. Crist collected a chunk of it at a reception attended by at least 10 frat members, including Tom Wheeler, an FSU Classmate who has a high-level job in the attorney general's office.
"You kind of feel obligated, but in a good way," said Jay Hurley, a Fort Lauderdale lawyer and Pike who sent Crist $500. "He's a member of the fraternity. There's a lot of camaraderie there."
Crist's fraternity fundraising is helped by the fact that another FSU Pike is Brent Sembler, a wealthy St. Petersburg developer who is finance chairman of Crist's campaign. Even with a $500 limit on individual contributions, Sembler corporations have funneled at least $33,000 to Crist's campaign.
Sembler and the Pikes are but two examples of how Crist has built a formidable fundraising network, not just in Florida but across the country.
"It's family and friends, by and large. It's not rocket science," Crist says. "It's a matter of people you meet along the way."
Gallagher and his supporters have repeatedly criticized Crist for raking in large sums from gambling interests and trial lawyers, sources Gallagher uses to question Crist's conservative values.
Gallagher's campaign cites dog and horse tracks and jai alai frontons that support Crist, as well as prominent Florida trial lawyers such as John Morgan, Fred Levin, Steve Yerrid and Gary Pajcic, who are reliable donors to liberal Democratic candidates as well.
Crist says a political contribution doesn't mean he supports the donor's political agenda. "It means they support mine," he says.
Asked why Crist has raised so much more money, Gallagher said, "Because he has trial lawyers and gambling interests."
But Crist's universe of financial backers is more diverse and complex than that.
For more than a year, he has hop-scotched from one fundraiser to the next, sometimes attending three in one day.
In some cases, donors have bundled dozens of checks from separate paper corporations from a single address, multiplying the $500 contribution limit into an among many times that much.
Some examples:
* At least 30 companies owned by Ken Underwood of Ponte Vedra Beach gave the maximum $500 to Crist, for a total of $15,000, and half of the checks were written within days of the firms' creation. Underwood, who holds a state contract to publish driver safety handbooks, says of Crist: "We've been friends for several years."
* Crist has received at least $6,500 from Miami companies owned by Sergio Pino, a prominent builder and developer and supporter of Republican candidates. The Miami Daily Business Review has reported that Pino is subject of a federal public corruption investigation along with Miami-Dade County Commissioner Jose "Pepe" Diaz.
CRIST'S OUT-OF-
STATE MONEY
Most of the Charlie Crist's campaign contributions have come from Florida individuals and businesses. Here are the five largest sources of out-of-state money in Crist's campaign. Totals are through June 30.
1. New York $181,343
2. California $166,250
3. Michigan $152,850
4. Georgia $148,012
5. Texas $120,228
Source: Florida Division of Elections (www.dos.state.fl.us)
* Crist is popular with owners of apartment complexes in the Detroit suburb of Southfield, Mich. Twenty of them gave Crist $500 each, for a total of $10,000. The apartments are owned by the firm that owns Hollywood Greyhound Track, one of four Florida parimutuels that will soon offer Las Vegas-style slot machines. Crist upset gambling opponents last year by declining to handle a court case challenging the slot's legality.
* Two fellow state attorneys general, Greg Abbott in Texas and Jon Bruning in Nebraska, have hosted Crist fundraisers. One of Crist's Texas donors is Kent Hance, best known for defeating a young George W. Bush in a race for a West Texas congressional seat in 1978.
* Florida nursing home operators, angry at Gov. Jeb Bush for vetoing a rate increase in the state budget, set out to raise $50,000 for Crist last month "to ensure that this (veto) does not happen again."
* The Art Rooney family of Pittsburgh, which owns the National Football League Steelers, rounded up thousands of dollars for Crist. So have entrepreneur Donald Trump; David Marsh, a Birmingham, Ala., lawyer who went to law school with Crist; and legions of lobbyists in Tallahassee.
One obvious connection to the nursing home contributions and the Rooney money is Brian Ballard, a Tallahassee lobbyist who represents both clients in Florida.
Ballard, who prides himself on his own political network, remembers walking into a room of Crist fundraisers at the Marriott at Tampa's airport last year and not recognizing most of the people.
"I didn't know any of the people, or very few of them," Ballard said, "and it was elbow to elbow."
The group reconvened last month, a day before the June 30 deadline for accepting contributions for the quarter. At the "Founders' Round-Up," each supporter was asked to bring $10,000.
Crist claims to have more than 28,000 contributors so far. He said he had no idea why he received a $500 check from the Sand Hill Recycling Center of Auburn, Ala., or $500 from Dean Webster, a retiree in Kennebunkport, Maine.
"Not a clue," Crist said.
The more individual donors of $250 or less he has from Florida, the greater the amount of state matching funds he's eligible to receive under a Florida Law that provides partial public financing of statewide elections.
The state will start issuing those checks next week. But first, Crist will celebrate his 50th birthday on Monday with a party at the Sirata Beach Resort in St. Pete Beach.
The party is also a $500-per-person campaign fundraiser.
Published by the St. Pete Times
Sunday July 23, 2006
Home | Alumni Updates | Brother Contacts | Chapter Achievements | Contact Us | Legends Campaign
Links | Preamble | President's Monthly Message | Rush Recommendations
* 2006 Overall Intramural Champions
* Charlie Crist for Governor
President's Monthly
Message
Fall Rush 2006 is here and we are actively recruiting new members.
...Read more
Chapter Achievements
Pikes Illustrated is the 16-page, color magazine published annually
by our Chapter as a way of communicating our success to our alumni and to prospective members. ...Read more
2006 - Delta Lambda, Florida State University Chapter
Address questions and comments to the Webmistress
Brother Charlie Crist '76 Becomes Florida's 44th Governor
Charlie Crist during his College days at FSU
Charlie at Pike Pig Roast with SMC Vern Vokus '76 and Kevin Smith '78. Charlie served Delta Lambda as Vice President (IMC) and Little Sister Coordinator as well as quarterback of our IM football team.
In this famous photograph, Charlie accepts the 1977 Homecoming Chief Trophy from 1976 Homecoming Chief Fred Miller '73. Fred started at linebacker and fullback for FSU until brought down by injuries. He volunteered for cheerleader and continued to lead the Seminoles from the sideline. Fred Miller was President of Pi Kappa Alpha, and Charlie Crist was Vice President of Pi Kappa Alpha, and Vice President of the FSU Student Body.
Charlie served Florida State University as Vice President of the Student Body. Charlie and date at Sheridan Cavitt Memorial Blow-out. Charlie also served Delta Lambda as Little Sister Coordinator.
A natural leader and gifted athlete, Charlie quarterbacked Delta Lambda's IM Football teams. In the background, Alan "NightOwl" Winslette ' 77 along with teammates Ken Furth '75 and Russell Sexton '77 can be identified.
The Pikes are among the gubernatorial candidate's formidable
cross section of financial backers
Pikes, from left, are Brian Ditthardt '78, Bill Gregory '77, Jim Kidder '79,
Stuart McKown '78, Tom Wheeler '78, Crist '76, Lou Andreanna '79, Brent Sembler '78, Jay Hurley '79, Mike Fernandez '77.
By STEVE BOUSQUET
Times Staff Writer
Tallahassee -- The Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity brothers from Florida State -- "Pikes," as they are known -- do more than hold reunions and cheer for Seminole football.
They also raise money for a frat brother, Attorney General Charlie Crist, who's on his way to shattering all fundraising records in his quest to become Florida's next governor.
Crist raised $10.6- million through June in the first stage of the race, the Sept. 5 Republican primary against Tom Gallagher, who has raised $7.8 million. Crist collected a chunk of it at a reception attended by at least 10 frat members, including Tom Wheeler, an FSU Classmate who has a high-level job in the attorney general's office.
"You kind of feel obligated, but in a good way," said Jay Hurley, a Fort Lauderdale lawyer and Pike who sent Crist $500. "He's a member of the fraternity. There's a lot of camaraderie there."
Crist's fraternity fundraising is helped by the fact that another FSU Pike is Brent Sembler, a wealthy St. Petersburg developer who is finance chairman of Crist's campaign. Even with a $500 limit on individual contributions, Sembler corporations have funneled at least $33,000 to Crist's campaign.
Sembler and the Pikes are but two examples of how Crist has built a formidable fundraising network, not just in Florida but across the country.
"It's family and friends, by and large. It's not rocket science," Crist says. "It's a matter of people you meet along the way."
Gallagher and his supporters have repeatedly criticized Crist for raking in large sums from gambling interests and trial lawyers, sources Gallagher uses to question Crist's conservative values.
Gallagher's campaign cites dog and horse tracks and jai alai frontons that support Crist, as well as prominent Florida trial lawyers such as John Morgan, Fred Levin, Steve Yerrid and Gary Pajcic, who are reliable donors to liberal Democratic candidates as well.
Crist says a political contribution doesn't mean he supports the donor's political agenda. "It means they support mine," he says.
Asked why Crist has raised so much more money, Gallagher said, "Because he has trial lawyers and gambling interests."
But Crist's universe of financial backers is more diverse and complex than that.
For more than a year, he has hop-scotched from one fundraiser to the next, sometimes attending three in one day.
In some cases, donors have bundled dozens of checks from separate paper corporations from a single address, multiplying the $500 contribution limit into an among many times that much.
Some examples:
* At least 30 companies owned by Ken Underwood of Ponte Vedra Beach gave the maximum $500 to Crist, for a total of $15,000, and half of the checks were written within days of the firms' creation. Underwood, who holds a state contract to publish driver safety handbooks, says of Crist: "We've been friends for several years."
* Crist has received at least $6,500 from Miami companies owned by Sergio Pino, a prominent builder and developer and supporter of Republican candidates. The Miami Daily Business Review has reported that Pino is subject of a federal public corruption investigation along with Miami-Dade County Commissioner Jose "Pepe" Diaz.
CRIST'S OUT-OF-
STATE MONEY
Most of the Charlie Crist's campaign contributions have come from Florida individuals and businesses. Here are the five largest sources of out-of-state money in Crist's campaign. Totals are through June 30.
1. New York $181,343
2. California $166,250
3. Michigan $152,850
4. Georgia $148,012
5. Texas $120,228
Source: Florida Division of Elections (www.dos.state.fl.us)
* Crist is popular with owners of apartment complexes in the Detroit suburb of Southfield, Mich. Twenty of them gave Crist $500 each, for a total of $10,000. The apartments are owned by the firm that owns Hollywood Greyhound Track, one of four Florida parimutuels that will soon offer Las Vegas-style slot machines. Crist upset gambling opponents last year by declining to handle a court case challenging the slot's legality.
* Two fellow state attorneys general, Greg Abbott in Texas and Jon Bruning in Nebraska, have hosted Crist fundraisers. One of Crist's Texas donors is Kent Hance, best known for defeating a young George W. Bush in a race for a West Texas congressional seat in 1978.
* Florida nursing home operators, angry at Gov. Jeb Bush for vetoing a rate increase in the state budget, set out to raise $50,000 for Crist last month "to ensure that this (veto) does not happen again."
* The Art Rooney family of Pittsburgh, which owns the National Football League Steelers, rounded up thousands of dollars for Crist. So have entrepreneur Donald Trump; David Marsh, a Birmingham, Ala., lawyer who went to law school with Crist; and legions of lobbyists in Tallahassee.
One obvious connection to the nursing home contributions and the Rooney money is Brian Ballard, a Tallahassee lobbyist who represents both clients in Florida.
Ballard, who prides himself on his own political network, remembers walking into a room of Crist fundraisers at the Marriott at Tampa's airport last year and not recognizing most of the people.
"I didn't know any of the people, or very few of them," Ballard said, "and it was elbow to elbow."
The group reconvened last month, a day before the June 30 deadline for accepting contributions for the quarter. At the "Founders' Round-Up," each supporter was asked to bring $10,000.
Crist claims to have more than 28,000 contributors so far. He said he had no idea why he received a $500 check from the Sand Hill Recycling Center of Auburn, Ala., or $500 from Dean Webster, a retiree in Kennebunkport, Maine.
"Not a clue," Crist said.
The more individual donors of $250 or less he has from Florida, the greater the amount of state matching funds he's eligible to receive under a Florida Law that provides partial public financing of statewide elections.
The state will start issuing those checks next week. But first, Crist will celebrate his 50th birthday on Monday with a party at the Sirata Beach Resort in St. Pete Beach.
The party is also a $500-per-person campaign fundraiser.
Published by the St. Pete Times
Sunday July 23, 2006
Home | Alumni Updates | Brother Contacts | Chapter Achievements | Contact Us | Legends Campaign
Links | Preamble | President's Monthly Message | Rush Recommendations
Florida Tampa Gambling Deals http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/florida/sfl-findians08mar08,0,3005799.story?coll=sfla-news-florida
Crist wants to negotiate gambling deal with Seminoles to boost revenues
By Linda Kleindienst
Tallahassee Bureau Chief
Posted March 8 2007
TALLAHASSEE – In a dramatic departure from his predecessor, Gov. Charlie Crist said Wednesday he is willing to negotiate a gambling compact with the Seminole Tribe -- a move that could bring millions into Florida's cash-strapped treasury.
"I think that's the smarter way to go," Crist said.
LocalLinks
Former Gov. Jeb Bush, a staunch opponent of gambling, stonewalled negotiations with the tribe, which wants to install Las Vegas-style slot machines similar to those voters approved for four Broward County pari-mutuels.
No meetings have yet been held or scheduled with the tribe, but Crist said it would benefit state taxpayers to strike a deal that provides money to the state in exchange for expanded gaming rights for the Seminoles.
Barry Richard, an attorney for the Seminoles, said the tribe might be willing to pay the state for the right to have more than the 1,500 slot machines that the pari-mutuels are limited to, or other types of casino games.
"We could enter in an agreement with the state that it gets a certain percentage of revenue for machines over 1,500," Richard said, although he said he had no idea how much the Seminoles would be willing to pay.
The possibility of generating new tax dollars through the Indian-run casinos comes as Crist and legislators are expecting a drop in sales tax and real estate tax revenues from Florida's cooled-down economy. A panel made up of representatives of the governor's office, Legislature and the Department of Revenue has warned the state could bring in up to $800 million less than expected in the next budget year.
On Tuesday, in a move that could compel the state to come to the bargaining table, the Seminoles filed suit in Miami claiming they are going to suffer "significant economic harm" because of their competitive disadvantage in the slot machine area. Filed against the U.S. Department of the Interior and Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne, the suit asks the federal court to force the U.S. government to develop regulations that will allow the Seminoles to have the same type of slot machines as their commercial Broward rivals.
Because of a constitutional amendment adopted by state voters in 2004 -- and later approved by Broward voters -- two racetrack casinos already are operating in Hallandale Beach, at Gulfstream Park and Mardi Gras Racetrack and Gaming Center. Pompano Park Harness Track is scheduled to debut its slot machines next month and Dania Jai Alai is planning to open in 2008.
The tribe has three casinos operating in Broward -- one in Coconut Creek and two near Hollywood -- with the largest at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. But the tribe is limited to bingo-style slot machines that generate less revenue and are less popular than the Las Vegas-style slots.
Despite the lawsuit, indications are the tribe would prefer to make a deal with Crist.
"They would prefer to be operating in cooperation with the state ... they don't want to have constant fights with the state," Richard said.
The tribe currently has seven gambling locations statewide with almost 8,600 bingo-style slot machines and 230 poker tables that generated $1.3 billion in revenue in 2005, Richard said. The state gets no money from the tribe while the pari-mutuels have to pay a 50 percent tax on their slot profits.
The Seminoles argue they are entitled to Las Vegas-type slots under a provision of the federal Indian Gaming Regulatory Act, which gives tribes the same gambling options featured elsewhere in the state. Because Broward pari-mutuels are now allowed to have them, the Indians want the same.
Read all 38 comments »
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By Linda Kleindienst
Tallahassee Bureau Chief
Posted March 8 2007
TALLAHASSEE – In a dramatic departure from his predecessor, Gov. Charlie Crist said Wednesday he is willing to negotiate a gambling compact with the Seminole Tribe -- a move that could bring millions into Florida's cash-strapped treasury.
"I think that's the smarter way to go," Crist said.
LocalLinks
Former Gov. Jeb Bush, a staunch opponent of gambling, stonewalled negotiations with the tribe, which wants to install Las Vegas-style slot machines similar to those voters approved for four Broward County pari-mutuels.
No meetings have yet been held or scheduled with the tribe, but Crist said it would benefit state taxpayers to strike a deal that provides money to the state in exchange for expanded gaming rights for the Seminoles.
Barry Richard, an attorney for the Seminoles, said the tribe might be willing to pay the state for the right to have more than the 1,500 slot machines that the pari-mutuels are limited to, or other types of casino games.
"We could enter in an agreement with the state that it gets a certain percentage of revenue for machines over 1,500," Richard said, although he said he had no idea how much the Seminoles would be willing to pay.
The possibility of generating new tax dollars through the Indian-run casinos comes as Crist and legislators are expecting a drop in sales tax and real estate tax revenues from Florida's cooled-down economy. A panel made up of representatives of the governor's office, Legislature and the Department of Revenue has warned the state could bring in up to $800 million less than expected in the next budget year.
On Tuesday, in a move that could compel the state to come to the bargaining table, the Seminoles filed suit in Miami claiming they are going to suffer "significant economic harm" because of their competitive disadvantage in the slot machine area. Filed against the U.S. Department of the Interior and Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne, the suit asks the federal court to force the U.S. government to develop regulations that will allow the Seminoles to have the same type of slot machines as their commercial Broward rivals.
Because of a constitutional amendment adopted by state voters in 2004 -- and later approved by Broward voters -- two racetrack casinos already are operating in Hallandale Beach, at Gulfstream Park and Mardi Gras Racetrack and Gaming Center. Pompano Park Harness Track is scheduled to debut its slot machines next month and Dania Jai Alai is planning to open in 2008.
The tribe has three casinos operating in Broward -- one in Coconut Creek and two near Hollywood -- with the largest at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. But the tribe is limited to bingo-style slot machines that generate less revenue and are less popular than the Las Vegas-style slots.
Despite the lawsuit, indications are the tribe would prefer to make a deal with Crist.
"They would prefer to be operating in cooperation with the state ... they don't want to have constant fights with the state," Richard said.
The tribe currently has seven gambling locations statewide with almost 8,600 bingo-style slot machines and 230 poker tables that generated $1.3 billion in revenue in 2005, Richard said. The state gets no money from the tribe while the pari-mutuels have to pay a 50 percent tax on their slot profits.
The Seminoles argue they are entitled to Las Vegas-type slots under a provision of the federal Indian Gaming Regulatory Act, which gives tribes the same gambling options featured elsewhere in the state. Because Broward pari-mutuels are now allowed to have them, the Indians want the same.
Read all 38 comments »
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http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/florida/sfl-findians08mar08,0,3005799.story?coll=sfla-news-florida
Crist wants to negotiate gambling deal with Seminoles to boost revenues
By Linda Kleindienst
Tallahassee Bureau Chief
Posted March 8 2007
TALLAHASSEE – In a dramatic departure from his predecessor, Gov. Charlie Crist said Wednesday he is willing to negotiate a gambling compact with the Seminole Tribe -- a move that could bring millions into Florida's cash-strapped treasury.
"I think that's the smarter way to go," Crist said.
LocalLinks
Former Gov. Jeb Bush, a staunch opponent of gambling, stonewalled negotiations with the tribe, which wants to install Las Vegas-style slot machines similar to those voters approved for four Broward County pari-mutuels.
No meetings have yet been held or scheduled with the tribe, but Crist said it would benefit state taxpayers to strike a deal that provides money to the state in exchange for expanded gaming rights for the Seminoles.
Barry Richard, an attorney for the Seminoles, said the tribe might be willing to pay the state for the right to have more than the 1,500 slot machines that the pari-mutuels are limited to, or other types of casino games.
"We could enter in an agreement with the state that it gets a certain percentage of revenue for machines over 1,500," Richard said, although he said he had no idea how much the Seminoles would be willing to pay.
The possibility of generating new tax dollars through the Indian-run casinos comes as Crist and legislators are expecting a drop in sales tax and real estate tax revenues from Florida's cooled-down economy. A panel made up of representatives of the governor's office, Legislature and the Department of Revenue has warned the state could bring in up to $800 million less than expected in the next budget year.
On Tuesday, in a move that could compel the state to come to the bargaining table, the Seminoles filed suit in Miami claiming they are going to suffer "significant economic harm" because of their competitive disadvantage in the slot machine area. Filed against the U.S. Department of the Interior and Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne, the suit asks the federal court to force the U.S. government to develop regulations that will allow the Seminoles to have the same type of slot machines as their commercial Broward rivals.
Because of a constitutional amendment adopted by state voters in 2004 -- and later approved by Broward voters -- two racetrack casinos already are operating in Hallandale Beach, at Gulfstream Park and Mardi Gras Racetrack and Gaming Center. Pompano Park Harness Track is scheduled to debut its slot machines next month and Dania Jai Alai is planning to open in 2008.
The tribe has three casinos operating in Broward -- one in Coconut Creek and two near Hollywood -- with the largest at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. But the tribe is limited to bingo-style slot machines that generate less revenue and are less popular than the Las Vegas-style slots.
Despite the lawsuit, indications are the tribe would prefer to make a deal with Crist.
"They would prefer to be operating in cooperation with the state ... they don't want to have constant fights with the state," Richard said.
The tribe currently has seven gambling locations statewide with almost 8,600 bingo-style slot machines and 230 poker tables that generated $1.3 billion in revenue in 2005, Richard said. The state gets no money from the tribe while the pari-mutuels have to pay a 50 percent tax on their slot profits.
The Seminoles argue they are entitled to Las Vegas-type slots under a provision of the federal Indian Gaming Regulatory Act, which gives tribes the same gambling options featured elsewhere in the state. Because Broward pari-mutuels are now allowed to have them, the Indians want the same.
Read all 38 comments »
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By Linda Kleindienst
Tallahassee Bureau Chief
Posted March 8 2007
TALLAHASSEE – In a dramatic departure from his predecessor, Gov. Charlie Crist said Wednesday he is willing to negotiate a gambling compact with the Seminole Tribe -- a move that could bring millions into Florida's cash-strapped treasury.
"I think that's the smarter way to go," Crist said.
LocalLinks
Former Gov. Jeb Bush, a staunch opponent of gambling, stonewalled negotiations with the tribe, which wants to install Las Vegas-style slot machines similar to those voters approved for four Broward County pari-mutuels.
No meetings have yet been held or scheduled with the tribe, but Crist said it would benefit state taxpayers to strike a deal that provides money to the state in exchange for expanded gaming rights for the Seminoles.
Barry Richard, an attorney for the Seminoles, said the tribe might be willing to pay the state for the right to have more than the 1,500 slot machines that the pari-mutuels are limited to, or other types of casino games.
"We could enter in an agreement with the state that it gets a certain percentage of revenue for machines over 1,500," Richard said, although he said he had no idea how much the Seminoles would be willing to pay.
The possibility of generating new tax dollars through the Indian-run casinos comes as Crist and legislators are expecting a drop in sales tax and real estate tax revenues from Florida's cooled-down economy. A panel made up of representatives of the governor's office, Legislature and the Department of Revenue has warned the state could bring in up to $800 million less than expected in the next budget year.
On Tuesday, in a move that could compel the state to come to the bargaining table, the Seminoles filed suit in Miami claiming they are going to suffer "significant economic harm" because of their competitive disadvantage in the slot machine area. Filed against the U.S. Department of the Interior and Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne, the suit asks the federal court to force the U.S. government to develop regulations that will allow the Seminoles to have the same type of slot machines as their commercial Broward rivals.
Because of a constitutional amendment adopted by state voters in 2004 -- and later approved by Broward voters -- two racetrack casinos already are operating in Hallandale Beach, at Gulfstream Park and Mardi Gras Racetrack and Gaming Center. Pompano Park Harness Track is scheduled to debut its slot machines next month and Dania Jai Alai is planning to open in 2008.
The tribe has three casinos operating in Broward -- one in Coconut Creek and two near Hollywood -- with the largest at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. But the tribe is limited to bingo-style slot machines that generate less revenue and are less popular than the Las Vegas-style slots.
Despite the lawsuit, indications are the tribe would prefer to make a deal with Crist.
"They would prefer to be operating in cooperation with the state ... they don't want to have constant fights with the state," Richard said.
The tribe currently has seven gambling locations statewide with almost 8,600 bingo-style slot machines and 230 poker tables that generated $1.3 billion in revenue in 2005, Richard said. The state gets no money from the tribe while the pari-mutuels have to pay a 50 percent tax on their slot profits.
The Seminoles argue they are entitled to Las Vegas-type slots under a provision of the federal Indian Gaming Regulatory Act, which gives tribes the same gambling options featured elsewhere in the state. Because Broward pari-mutuels are now allowed to have them, the Indians want the same.
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http://www.antonnews.com/oysterbayenterprisepilot/2003/10/31/news/
Matinecock Lodge Demolished After Fire
Smoke was still curling up from the left-hand side of the lodge. On the left, firemen are climbing the aerial ladder so that they can tie lines to it and drag it down into the center of the building. The third floor and attic area were a large open area where the Masonic Temple was located.
Many Artifacts Saved, Masons Promise to Rebuild the Lodge
By Dagmar Fors Karppi
There is nothing left of the Matinecock Lodge building at 14 West Main Street in Oyster Bay but a pile of rubble surrounded by chain link fencing. The fencing was just recently used to guard the new walkway being created from Audrey Avenue to West Main Street as part of a town revitalization project. Although the lodge was lost to fire on Saturday morning, Oct. 25, the Masons promise that it will rise like a Pheonix from the ashes left behind.
The Matinecock Lodge was ablaze early Saturday morning, Oct. 25, when the fire company received an alarm for smoke that was detected on East Main Street at about 2:30 a.m. They didn't get the address with the information but were quickly able to find the fire on Main Street, said Oyster Bay Fire Company No. 1 First Assistant Chief Anthony DeCarolis. Atlantic Steamer Fire Company Chief Richard Warner and First Assistant Chief DeCarolis were in charge of fighting the fire.
The actual timeline and cause of the fire is being investigated. O.B.F. Co. 1 First Assistant Chief Anthony DeCarolis said, "According to the fire marshal, they believe the fire was electrical in nature and started in the basement.
A neighbor across the street reported hearing an explosion and I reported that to the fire marshal on Sunday," he said. "We estimated the fire started about four hours before we were alerted. When the first firefighters went into the building the floor was already burned through. It was a very significantly advanced fire. Our guess is that it began sometime around 10:30 to 11 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 24."
Fire Marshal Joe Whittaker said on Monday, Oct. 27, that the cause of the fire is still undetermined. He said the report of someone hearing an explosion could be explained by the windows coming out. "The force of the fire blowing out the windows can sound like an explosion. The windows are the weakest part of the building. There were investigators looking at the basement on Monday, so the case of the fire is still undetermined," he repeated.
Mr. De Carolis said when they got 15 to 20 feet inside the building they realized a substantial part of the floor had collapsed into the basement. He said the fire started in the basement and went to the first floor and up to the second floor. "The floor was spongy and moving and way too unstable," he said. He explained the "balloon" construction of the walls left them open from the basement all the way to the top floor. "If you drop a quarter it goes down to the basement and the same with the fire, it goes all the way to the top floor. The lodge was built of older wood, drier wood and very heavily constructed as older buildings were. It had very large structural members in the basement, that were already burned through when we arrived. They were dry, but they were big," he explained.
When they arrived at the scene, one of their priorities was to protect the two landmark buildings next to the lodge. They hosed down Raynham Hall Museum to the west and Snouder's Corner Drug Store to the east. All three buildings are Town of Oyster Bay Landmarks.
About 14 fire companies from the Fifth Battalion fought the blaze including the Atlantic Steamer, Oyster Bay Fire Company No. 1, East Norwich, Sea Cliff, Cold Spring Harbor, Glenwood Landing, Jericho, Hicksville, Locust Valley, Bayville and Syosset companies.
"It was a long night," said one of the firemen.
Someone nearby commented, "It's a shame. That was a good-looking building."
The Matinecock Lodge is a Town of Oyster Bay Landmark, as are the two buildings surrounding it, Raynham Hall Museum to the west and Snouder's Corner Drugstore to the east. One of the concerns in fighting the fire was to see that it didn't spread to the other historic buildings, so they hosed down both sites and kept a watch on them.
The Matinecock Lodge is also a Masonic Museum that is visited by Masons from around the country. Luckily, the firemen were responsive to the importance of the artifacts and went into the building, while it was burning to retrieve many of the items.
One of the items lost was a painting of Theodore Roosevelt on horseback; he was a member of the lodge. Matinecock Lodge Master Efraim Azamitia said, "This has been an absolute tragedy. We feel we've lost our home, but we are meeting on Wednesday, Nov. 5 for a Second Degree ceremony. We just had a Masonic First Degree ceremony and we had scheduled a Second Degree ceremony and we will now hold it at the donated Atlantic Steamer firehouse. The Masons have been here for 200 years. The firemen have been angels of heaven," he said. "They went through the building while the fire was ablaze and picked through stuff upstairs and brought down our gavels and things we thought we lost. That includes the Theodore Roosevelt Bible. Everything is damaged and should take a lot of work. But we are feeling very positive about the club and the community's response."
He said when the firemen started bringing the artifacts out of the building the Masons formed a chain and passed the items along. They were saddened at the loss of the painting of TR, and said Master Azamitia, "All we have is a photograph of it."
Mason Warren Obes said, "We were able to salvage a lot of the artifacts. The Alantic Steamer Company let us lay the things out in one of their garage bays." They also offered their meeting room for their meetings. Mr. Obes said he got a call about the fire at 3 a.m. from Mason Norman Youngs who has a relative who is a fireman.
The Masons had nothing but praise for the firefighters who also salvaged the stained glass window that was in the east wall. The firemen sawed it out of the wooden frame and stabilized it with wood. Later in the day, Masons Mike Applequist and Deacon Tastensen were looking over the artifacts in the firehouse. Mr. Tastensen was glad their Masonic tools in their leather case were safe, and said of the tragedy, "Nobody got hurt. The lodge didn't burn, the building we met in did. We're well insured. We're not leaving Oyster Bay and we will try to reconstruct the same way but with modern safety features." The Matinecock Masonic Historic Society owns the building, the Masonic Lodge rented their location from them. The two entities are parts of the same parent organization.
Mr. Tastensen and Mr. Applequist were at the Atlantic Steamer firehouse Saturday around 5 p.m. covering the large nails protruding from the wood that was stabilizing the stained glass window with cardboard to prevent anyone from injuring their hands. Mr. Applequist said they had just gotten the window back from a restorer and said, they would return it to that shop to be repaired again. Although they don't have all the glass (at the moment) they believed it can be restored. About 60 percent of the window was intact, said John Hammond Matinecock Masonic Lodge historian.
Mr. Hammond said the artifacts they recovered were soot covered and water soaked. "The TR application is intact as is the Bible Mr. Roosevelt was inducted on. The firemen went into the building while it was still burning to get the artifacts out," said Mr. Hammond. The Masons kept mentioning the brave work of the firefighters and how much they appreciated their efforts on the Masons' behalf. Mason Bob Kelly credited firefighter Bob Gorney for carrying out the TR Bible. He said when the firemen arrived there was lots of smoke. Flames shot up from the chimneys on both sides of the building.
As they talked, Barbara and John Sheridan of Look Who's Cooking came out of their store with a tray of warm pretzels and a carton filled with cups of coffee for the firemen.
Standing nearby was the Monaghan family, Connie and Brian and their children J.J. and Brianne. He was holding up her shingle: "Constance Monaghan, P.T." that had been on the Active Motion sign outside the Matinecock Lodge, where the business was located. She said a co-worker called her at 10:30 a.m. to tell her about the fire. Ms. Monaghan said most of their paperwork was saved and they tried to get parts of their computers, but doubted they were able to do so. Later as the building was being razed, you could see the computer monitor framed in the empty window, after the porch was taken off the front of the building.
"It's such a loss," said Brian Monaghan. "Our children had their Christening and Communion parties downstairs at the lodge." The lodge was used as a catering facility by members of the community.
Oyster Bay resident Brian Land of David Shuldiner, Inc. was watching the demolition work. His firm is in the architectural metal and glass business and does high rise construction office space and sometimes restores stained glass. His company was founded in 1888, so he had a feeling of affinity for the Matinecock Lodge as well as the demolition work going on. "We worked on a lot of buildings in the city after 9/11," he said. The missing pieces of the stained glass window he said would not be a problem, as long as they had a photograph to follow.
At about 4 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 25, First Assistant Chief Anthony DeCarolis said the fire was still going on in the basement. It was too hard to get to and too dangerous to do so. That was why the building was being demolished as Masons and local residents watched. The Town of Oyster Bay had assessed the situation and declared that the building had to come down. Town workers helped with the demolition work.
As the crowd watched, in the rear of the building payloaders were knocking down the back of the building and carrying the debris out to West Main Street where a large white Town of Oyster Bay refuse carting truck was being loaded. As history was poured into the dumpster it rumbled and shook. The debris from the fire was being carted by the Town of Oyster Bay to their Miller Place facility so that the Masons would be able to go through the material to see if they could rescue anything else. On Monday, Oct. 27, Masons were at the facility and sifting through the remainder of the debris as it was loaded onto trucks, reported Mr. DeCarolis. He said on Monday, Oct. 27, "The two Oyster Bay Fire Companies and the Town of Oyster Bay were able to salvage some of the memorabilia from the building. As late as 45 minutes ago, (about 11 a.m.) the fire department and the town were able to recover the VFW Post #8033 rifles. They were in an enclosure and were damaged but are believed to be salvageable. The rifles were found by OBF Co. No. 1 Second Assistant Chief Frank Mantegari, a town employee. The town was in charge of the demolition and removal and the fire company was there into Sunday because the fire was inaccessible and still burning as the demolition was going on," Mr. DeCarolis said.
Mason James Foote, a TR impersonator had been at the scene since 5:20 a.m. "There goes a historic structure." He said in a case like this TR would say: "Do the best you can with what you have where you are," and added, "This is what this lodge is going to do. Thank God for the Atlantic Steamer Company. They've got a lot of our stuff for us in one of their truck bays. That's community spirit," he said.
As the payloader worked at knocking down the building, the smell of burning wood became more prevalent. Standing by were men from the Fire Marshal's office. Fire Marshal Joseph Whittaker said they were not able to investigate the specific area where they believed the fire began. "The top has to go down. As long as it is up, we can't go inside." One of the problems in fighting the fire is that there are always fire pockets that they can't get at, he said.
Robert Crawford, a Vernon student was taking notes in preparation of writing an article for the school newspaper. He said when he arrived between 11 a.m. and noon there was smoke everywhere. Three hours after, he was still watching and taking snapshots. He caught a picture of one of the eastern brick chimney being pulled down by the payloader dragging the line.
Chris Bagan, in eighth grade at Oyster Bay High School arrived at the fire at 10 a.m. and said there was a lot of smoke. His father, firefighter Brian Bagan got to the fire at 8 a.m. "It's sad. It's a shame it happened," he said. Sitting there he watched the historic demolition of the Oyster Bay landmark.
He too reported that they salvaged a lot of things that were being kept at the firehouse. "They were handing things from inside the building," he said. "It's amazing it's still burning. It's a shame, they just spent so much money on fixing it up."
He said the firemen tried to take the east chimney down with a sledgehammer. "Smoke was coming out of the chimney as they tried to knock it down," he said. That was when the decided to tie a hose-line around it to pull it down.
A payloader used the hose-line to pull down the front of the wall and the red seats that lined the north and south walls of the Masonic Temple on the third floor of the building were exposed. The red fabric of the seats was blackened. The red seats, linked together in a row, looked like a caterpillar suspended across the upper floor, said Chris Bagan.
By 5 p.m. the left side of the building was still standing and the two payloaders looked like two of TV's "Battle-Bots" fighting as they faced each other and charged at the front of the building. They demolished it, turned it into kindling and loaded it onto a town carting truck. At the scene, as more of the east side of the building was exposed, more smoke was rising from that side of the burning back area.
Three other organizations have lost their homes in the lodge. The lodge was used by the Oyster Bay VFW Post #8033, as well as two German lodges: the Trinity Lodge and the Socrates Lodge. The German lodges conduct their meetings in their native language to hold onto their traditions. They are the last German-speaking lodges to hold on to that, said Mr. Tasteson. Mr. Applequist said they can attend those meetings and still understand what is going on since they follow the same format.
They looked around the firehouse and talked about the artifacts which included a cornerstone from another lodge. "Cuban Masons gave a stone to the lodge in honor of TR, pre-Castro," said Mr. Applequist.
Standing in a pile were about a dozen copies of Matinecock Light, slightly water-damaged; the book on the Oyster Bay Masons was written by John Hammond. He will have several new chapters to add to the book.
Smoke was still curling up from the left-hand side of the lodge. On the left, firemen are climbing the aerial ladder so that they can tie lines to it and drag it down into the center of the building. The third floor and attic area were a large open area where the Masonic Temple was located.
Many Artifacts Saved, Masons Promise to Rebuild the Lodge
By Dagmar Fors Karppi
There is nothing left of the Matinecock Lodge building at 14 West Main Street in Oyster Bay but a pile of rubble surrounded by chain link fencing. The fencing was just recently used to guard the new walkway being created from Audrey Avenue to West Main Street as part of a town revitalization project. Although the lodge was lost to fire on Saturday morning, Oct. 25, the Masons promise that it will rise like a Pheonix from the ashes left behind.
The Matinecock Lodge was ablaze early Saturday morning, Oct. 25, when the fire company received an alarm for smoke that was detected on East Main Street at about 2:30 a.m. They didn't get the address with the information but were quickly able to find the fire on Main Street, said Oyster Bay Fire Company No. 1 First Assistant Chief Anthony DeCarolis. Atlantic Steamer Fire Company Chief Richard Warner and First Assistant Chief DeCarolis were in charge of fighting the fire.
The actual timeline and cause of the fire is being investigated. O.B.F. Co. 1 First Assistant Chief Anthony DeCarolis said, "According to the fire marshal, they believe the fire was electrical in nature and started in the basement.
A neighbor across the street reported hearing an explosion and I reported that to the fire marshal on Sunday," he said. "We estimated the fire started about four hours before we were alerted. When the first firefighters went into the building the floor was already burned through. It was a very significantly advanced fire. Our guess is that it began sometime around 10:30 to 11 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 24."
Fire Marshal Joe Whittaker said on Monday, Oct. 27, that the cause of the fire is still undetermined. He said the report of someone hearing an explosion could be explained by the windows coming out. "The force of the fire blowing out the windows can sound like an explosion. The windows are the weakest part of the building. There were investigators looking at the basement on Monday, so the case of the fire is still undetermined," he repeated.
Mr. De Carolis said when they got 15 to 20 feet inside the building they realized a substantial part of the floor had collapsed into the basement. He said the fire started in the basement and went to the first floor and up to the second floor. "The floor was spongy and moving and way too unstable," he said. He explained the "balloon" construction of the walls left them open from the basement all the way to the top floor. "If you drop a quarter it goes down to the basement and the same with the fire, it goes all the way to the top floor. The lodge was built of older wood, drier wood and very heavily constructed as older buildings were. It had very large structural members in the basement, that were already burned through when we arrived. They were dry, but they were big," he explained.
When they arrived at the scene, one of their priorities was to protect the two landmark buildings next to the lodge. They hosed down Raynham Hall Museum to the west and Snouder's Corner Drug Store to the east. All three buildings are Town of Oyster Bay Landmarks.
About 14 fire companies from the Fifth Battalion fought the blaze including the Atlantic Steamer, Oyster Bay Fire Company No. 1, East Norwich, Sea Cliff, Cold Spring Harbor, Glenwood Landing, Jericho, Hicksville, Locust Valley, Bayville and Syosset companies.
"It was a long night," said one of the firemen.
Someone nearby commented, "It's a shame. That was a good-looking building."
The Matinecock Lodge is a Town of Oyster Bay Landmark, as are the two buildings surrounding it, Raynham Hall Museum to the west and Snouder's Corner Drugstore to the east. One of the concerns in fighting the fire was to see that it didn't spread to the other historic buildings, so they hosed down both sites and kept a watch on them.
The Matinecock Lodge is also a Masonic Museum that is visited by Masons from around the country. Luckily, the firemen were responsive to the importance of the artifacts and went into the building, while it was burning to retrieve many of the items.
One of the items lost was a painting of Theodore Roosevelt on horseback; he was a member of the lodge. Matinecock Lodge Master Efraim Azamitia said, "This has been an absolute tragedy. We feel we've lost our home, but we are meeting on Wednesday, Nov. 5 for a Second Degree ceremony. We just had a Masonic First Degree ceremony and we had scheduled a Second Degree ceremony and we will now hold it at the donated Atlantic Steamer firehouse. The Masons have been here for 200 years. The firemen have been angels of heaven," he said. "They went through the building while the fire was ablaze and picked through stuff upstairs and brought down our gavels and things we thought we lost. That includes the Theodore Roosevelt Bible. Everything is damaged and should take a lot of work. But we are feeling very positive about the club and the community's response."
He said when the firemen started bringing the artifacts out of the building the Masons formed a chain and passed the items along. They were saddened at the loss of the painting of TR, and said Master Azamitia, "All we have is a photograph of it."
Mason Warren Obes said, "We were able to salvage a lot of the artifacts. The Alantic Steamer Company let us lay the things out in one of their garage bays." They also offered their meeting room for their meetings. Mr. Obes said he got a call about the fire at 3 a.m. from Mason Norman Youngs who has a relative who is a fireman.
The Masons had nothing but praise for the firefighters who also salvaged the stained glass window that was in the east wall. The firemen sawed it out of the wooden frame and stabilized it with wood. Later in the day, Masons Mike Applequist and Deacon Tastensen were looking over the artifacts in the firehouse. Mr. Tastensen was glad their Masonic tools in their leather case were safe, and said of the tragedy, "Nobody got hurt. The lodge didn't burn, the building we met in did. We're well insured. We're not leaving Oyster Bay and we will try to reconstruct the same way but with modern safety features." The Matinecock Masonic Historic Society owns the building, the Masonic Lodge rented their location from them. The two entities are parts of the same parent organization.
Mr. Tastensen and Mr. Applequist were at the Atlantic Steamer firehouse Saturday around 5 p.m. covering the large nails protruding from the wood that was stabilizing the stained glass window with cardboard to prevent anyone from injuring their hands. Mr. Applequist said they had just gotten the window back from a restorer and said, they would return it to that shop to be repaired again. Although they don't have all the glass (at the moment) they believed it can be restored. About 60 percent of the window was intact, said John Hammond Matinecock Masonic Lodge historian.
Mr. Hammond said the artifacts they recovered were soot covered and water soaked. "The TR application is intact as is the Bible Mr. Roosevelt was inducted on. The firemen went into the building while it was still burning to get the artifacts out," said Mr. Hammond. The Masons kept mentioning the brave work of the firefighters and how much they appreciated their efforts on the Masons' behalf. Mason Bob Kelly credited firefighter Bob Gorney for carrying out the TR Bible. He said when the firemen arrived there was lots of smoke. Flames shot up from the chimneys on both sides of the building.
As they talked, Barbara and John Sheridan of Look Who's Cooking came out of their store with a tray of warm pretzels and a carton filled with cups of coffee for the firemen.
Standing nearby was the Monaghan family, Connie and Brian and their children J.J. and Brianne. He was holding up her shingle: "Constance Monaghan, P.T." that had been on the Active Motion sign outside the Matinecock Lodge, where the business was located. She said a co-worker called her at 10:30 a.m. to tell her about the fire. Ms. Monaghan said most of their paperwork was saved and they tried to get parts of their computers, but doubted they were able to do so. Later as the building was being razed, you could see the computer monitor framed in the empty window, after the porch was taken off the front of the building.
"It's such a loss," said Brian Monaghan. "Our children had their Christening and Communion parties downstairs at the lodge." The lodge was used as a catering facility by members of the community.
Oyster Bay resident Brian Land of David Shuldiner, Inc. was watching the demolition work. His firm is in the architectural metal and glass business and does high rise construction office space and sometimes restores stained glass. His company was founded in 1888, so he had a feeling of affinity for the Matinecock Lodge as well as the demolition work going on. "We worked on a lot of buildings in the city after 9/11," he said. The missing pieces of the stained glass window he said would not be a problem, as long as they had a photograph to follow.
At about 4 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 25, First Assistant Chief Anthony DeCarolis said the fire was still going on in the basement. It was too hard to get to and too dangerous to do so. That was why the building was being demolished as Masons and local residents watched. The Town of Oyster Bay had assessed the situation and declared that the building had to come down. Town workers helped with the demolition work.
As the crowd watched, in the rear of the building payloaders were knocking down the back of the building and carrying the debris out to West Main Street where a large white Town of Oyster Bay refuse carting truck was being loaded. As history was poured into the dumpster it rumbled and shook. The debris from the fire was being carted by the Town of Oyster Bay to their Miller Place facility so that the Masons would be able to go through the material to see if they could rescue anything else. On Monday, Oct. 27, Masons were at the facility and sifting through the remainder of the debris as it was loaded onto trucks, reported Mr. DeCarolis. He said on Monday, Oct. 27, "The two Oyster Bay Fire Companies and the Town of Oyster Bay were able to salvage some of the memorabilia from the building. As late as 45 minutes ago, (about 11 a.m.) the fire department and the town were able to recover the VFW Post #8033 rifles. They were in an enclosure and were damaged but are believed to be salvageable. The rifles were found by OBF Co. No. 1 Second Assistant Chief Frank Mantegari, a town employee. The town was in charge of the demolition and removal and the fire company was there into Sunday because the fire was inaccessible and still burning as the demolition was going on," Mr. DeCarolis said.
Mason James Foote, a TR impersonator had been at the scene since 5:20 a.m. "There goes a historic structure." He said in a case like this TR would say: "Do the best you can with what you have where you are," and added, "This is what this lodge is going to do. Thank God for the Atlantic Steamer Company. They've got a lot of our stuff for us in one of their truck bays. That's community spirit," he said.
As the payloader worked at knocking down the building, the smell of burning wood became more prevalent. Standing by were men from the Fire Marshal's office. Fire Marshal Joseph Whittaker said they were not able to investigate the specific area where they believed the fire began. "The top has to go down. As long as it is up, we can't go inside." One of the problems in fighting the fire is that there are always fire pockets that they can't get at, he said.
Robert Crawford, a Vernon student was taking notes in preparation of writing an article for the school newspaper. He said when he arrived between 11 a.m. and noon there was smoke everywhere. Three hours after, he was still watching and taking snapshots. He caught a picture of one of the eastern brick chimney being pulled down by the payloader dragging the line.
Chris Bagan, in eighth grade at Oyster Bay High School arrived at the fire at 10 a.m. and said there was a lot of smoke. His father, firefighter Brian Bagan got to the fire at 8 a.m. "It's sad. It's a shame it happened," he said. Sitting there he watched the historic demolition of the Oyster Bay landmark.
He too reported that they salvaged a lot of things that were being kept at the firehouse. "They were handing things from inside the building," he said. "It's amazing it's still burning. It's a shame, they just spent so much money on fixing it up."
He said the firemen tried to take the east chimney down with a sledgehammer. "Smoke was coming out of the chimney as they tried to knock it down," he said. That was when the decided to tie a hose-line around it to pull it down.
A payloader used the hose-line to pull down the front of the wall and the red seats that lined the north and south walls of the Masonic Temple on the third floor of the building were exposed. The red fabric of the seats was blackened. The red seats, linked together in a row, looked like a caterpillar suspended across the upper floor, said Chris Bagan.
By 5 p.m. the left side of the building was still standing and the two payloaders looked like two of TV's "Battle-Bots" fighting as they faced each other and charged at the front of the building. They demolished it, turned it into kindling and loaded it onto a town carting truck. At the scene, as more of the east side of the building was exposed, more smoke was rising from that side of the burning back area.
Three other organizations have lost their homes in the lodge. The lodge was used by the Oyster Bay VFW Post #8033, as well as two German lodges: the Trinity Lodge and the Socrates Lodge. The German lodges conduct their meetings in their native language to hold onto their traditions. They are the last German-speaking lodges to hold on to that, said Mr. Tasteson. Mr. Applequist said they can attend those meetings and still understand what is going on since they follow the same format.
They looked around the firehouse and talked about the artifacts which included a cornerstone from another lodge. "Cuban Masons gave a stone to the lodge in honor of TR, pre-Castro," said Mr. Applequist.
Standing in a pile were about a dozen copies of Matinecock Light, slightly water-damaged; the book on the Oyster Bay Masons was written by John Hammond. He will have several new chapters to add to the book.
Monday, March 19, 2007
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d o w n a t c l u b l i m b o, d a n c i n g o n h i s t o r y 's u n m a r k e d g r a v e o f d i s c a r d e d l i e s
--- J E F F M C C A L L
i'm sitting in my office trying to steal a jingle for Ford Trucks from Bob Dylan mp3s when I hear Rudy in the other room tell Margo that a plane just hit the World Trade Center. then another plane crashed into it, and then a third. someone's calling bomb threats into the White House and the Pentagon is on fire. No one can get in or out. suicide car bombers in Washington. the country is under attack. and from the back of my stomach a feeling I know i'm going to have to get used to is beginning to seep in- everything is not going to be ok.
but I was wrong, everything is fine. everything is just fine...
it's January now and everything is just peachy.
America is dropping the tons
the Taliban is on the run,
hey this War thing's kinda fun,
'The Ultimate Evil's Day is Done!'
the world must be safe for the Pentagon Sons
and triple beef patties on buttered buns...
can a WAR on TERRORISM ever really be WON?
Will AMERICA Have it's DAY in the SUN?
And if it does
will it be
the America
that's We
the People
and not
the tools
of corporate money?
they sent us home, so I walked home simply stunned by what a gorgeous, cool blue day it was. squirrels feasting on Cheetos from the garbage behind Wawa... traffic cops getting dancy for they're own entertainment at the crux of four lanes going to one due to new construction- Tangled up in Trucks- honks of gaseaters effervescing real invisible bubbles up to the big clear blue round, emissions wavy to and through this thing that looks like nothing, save
a lonely wisp of cloud hung midway in the sky...
and nature didn't seem to mind
6 thousand people just died.
television, however, minded very much.
-this thing was MasterMinded....and not on a Monday, but a Tuesday- has anyone noticed the lack of Arab democracies? -covered in soot, from head to toe, he just couldn't- hHuge network of international terrorist hharbored by rogue- Cowardly Fearmongering Freedom Hating, but not that people should Hate the Islamic doctrine, for what it's worth, it's Evil People We're- Full Of Gas, see? the planes were going cross country! flying bombs! like man guided- Trust in the American people to support a Full Mobilization to Free the nations of the world from Terrorism and Evil in all it's- newly proposed Office of HomeLand Security, which will be headed up by our own Governor, Tom Ridge, who has a long history of serving justice and rooting out- Dan Quayle, who is here with us tonight all the way from- hell yeah I'm enlisting, it's the Right thing for a Responsible- duck and cover might have been a joke yesterday, but experts say may prove that going back to the Old Ways, could possibly provide safety from- a loss of control for our Way of Life, and a werld unnfferrling into uh TOtally Feevered and candy colored chaos...
for nearly the whole week after the attack FOXNews runs without commercials under the banner "AMERICA UNITED". Phepherd Phmiff kept saying (Phepherd "for Unbiased Reporting, Turn to FOXNews, and FOXNewsdotcom" Phmiff) over and over, "We Know the psychology of people, and We Know how people are going to react, wouldn't you say doctor? -- and We Know that the grieving period for this sort of tragedy is about, what would you say, about...24, to maybe 38, perhaps, maybe even 72, but We Know that then, after the grieving period there is a prolonged feeling of ABSOLUTE RAGE. would you say this is generally The Correct Thinking on this doctor?--"
Dr. Expert- "well, yes, Phepherd, i'd have to agree-"
Phepherd- "and we can expect, from what We Know is proven, that when the period of mourning is over, say, 48 hours, then the rage sets in, and who then can we turn that anger against? for an answer to this we turn now to our expert on the Middle East, a picture of Osama Bin Laden holding a gun. Picture of Osama, it's a pleasure to have you on the show... can you give our viewers tonight, some insight, into the nature of the terrorist mind?
Osama: well Phep, I'm just insane with rage and there's no rational explanation for it. I hate all things Western and Un-Islamic and want to impose my view point over the infidels over all the world, but mainly I just want jet skis.
Phepherd: jet skis?
Osama: and your women too, of course... but even more than your women, I want your wave-runners. they look like so much fun. ...have you ever tried one?
Phepherd: yeah, we have a couple at the beach house at the Vineyard, they're a blast.
Osama: they look like fun, but as Allah forbids empty western pleasures, and... since we couldn't find a lake front cave in all of Afghanistan, I will never Jet-Ski. If I lived in America, my millions could get me a little place somewhere, a ranch maybe, and i'd have jet skis... and a rifle range... but it is my fate to never feel the cool lake spray through my course and sandy beard, so Look Out Holy Momma- Here Come The USAMA!
Phep: Well, folks, you've seen it there for yourselves: the face of Evil Itself- religious zealots willing to die for their False God. the American Consumers, who's cause is JusT, are now asking themselves- what am I willing to die for? what does it mean to be a Citizen? Tune into the National Cathedral at 7 oclock to hear Republicans and Democrats join together in a chorus of "God Bless America" on the steps of the Capitol in a bi-partisian song to show that the two parties have come together to form ONE United Front for War Against Terrorism!
later... a story of True Patriotism, where the younger brother, Todd(not real name), enlisted to join his brother in their call to Duty. Older Brother Charley has two kids and his wife is scared to death. -so, you don't want them to go?, asks the reporter... -Absolutely Not! It's ridiculous...i can't believe this is all happening, it's just surreal, she says, burping baby #3. But Older Brother Charley gives his brother a loving Noogie and says, he's Proud that his little brother's coming with him. -we've got to make the world safe, and get rid of these terrorist people for our children. And we've got to get them where they Grow.
little brother Todd: well, it's not just following my brother as much as this is A Cause I can believe in and get behind, I mean, it's something Real... and I just feel like i've got to be a part of something this Big and Important.
News8Brad: we can only Hope this kind of Patriotism is contagious, right Tonya?
News8Tonya: I think maybe you're contagious, Brad [grinning fiendishly].
News8Brad: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha [also grinning fiendishly].
News8Tonya: Ha HA HA HA, ahh, we like to make it fun on the Morning show, and in the spirit of fun, we have Dick Cheney on satellite link from an undisclosed location in Maui to read a little, um, poetry?
Dick: Yo Yo Yo i'm Granmaster-D kickin it Old school on the beach stormin tip here to spit some bullshit rhymes all the time sublime in the Air-Force Deuce! [on the monitor from a luau in Maui sporting purple velvet pimp hat with a big red feather, some heavy gold chains and a royal Dalmatian coat (a little warm for the beach, some thought) chugging boat drinks, a camera follows him leading a congo line around a fire pit pig bbq and rapping into a wireless mic]
YO YO YO YO! I'm DICK the ViP- the VEE!I!PEE!
jus chillin out the Vice Presidency
as far from you as I can be
cuz you might get bombed, suckas!
when I was back running
my oil company
All the fine ladies
Wantin to bump witme
even though I was fat and bald
you gotta respect the Bejamins... [fanning out handfulls of hundreds]
now I gotta keep shit
my
on the D-L
lookin at my books go
wouldn't well
cuz I'm just hiding out- as far as you know
but but really i'm back here running the show from my
Bunker- Under
ground
with walls and towers
girdled round
Blow up a nuke-
it won't make no sound
while i'm watching me
Teevees
so Unfurl the Flags!
release the sequined hags!
the tagged and bagged in Polo rags
without no change to spare-
We'll keep the oil for the Rightful Heirs.
and Everyone Against US better Beware-
Here Comes Brand Name Justice!
i called my mother, who said she didn't want to talk about it, that there was just too much else to worry about, that I couldn't know, that there's just too much going on here and why couldn't I just get behind my country. "I just hate what that school's done to you. you never used to say the awful things you say now. you never used to be such a liberal. you call that education? Hating your country? I can't believe you've said the terrible things you've said in your emails. don't email me anymore, please, because I just can't take it. all your generation just never has had the kind of Pride in Your Country that you're Supposed to Have, that you should feel a connection to your people and what you commonly believe-
-what? that we support the killing of more innocent people?
-No matter what you say, you won't change my mind. The American people are decent people, and I don't think President Bush has any choice but to go after these, these Scumbags who think they can get away will killing 6,000 decent citizens- did you know that we gave them, gave the Afghanis- a whole bunch of money to build a stadium... an athletic stadium... and they use it to massacre their own people? they just slaughter them all the time, and starve them- don't give them anything to eat- women, children, and you know, you won't agree with me i'm sure, but there's no other way to react to these people that to show them Resolve. there world has to be made a safe place for decent people.
-do you think God is on our side?
-I should hope so.
-and it's God's will that we should invade Afghanistan?
-I don't want to talk to you about this. you just don't understand. I drink pepto bismol every day. no one is buying houses and the market isn't going to turn around. the economy is grinding to a halt and your father and I work on commission, so there's just no... just no... no guarantees about how life's going to turn out... you'll understand this when you get a little older. you'll have to, you'll see... I was alive during the Vietnam War and.. I was against it, then... because those are the kindof beliefs that you're supposed to have when you're that age, but you'll see, when you get to my age you understand...sometimes you just have to show Resolve.
-What do you mean by 'Resolve'?
-Oh don't Start that Shit. They've got to do something... what do you expect them to do? Nothing?
-Not Them. Us. What are We Going to do?
-We Can't Do Nothing. Terrorism Must be stopped! We can't let those people think they can just go around killing American Citizens!
-and by what means should we get vengeance?
-I told you I don't want to talk about this and I meant it. you'll never change my mind. maybe when you're a bit older, come talk to me then. I've seen America in Good Times and Bad, and everything is going to be okay....you just have to have faith in your Country and your Leaders. You're So Cynical at such a young age, I don't envy you at all...someone who can only be Negative about life- Negative about the country You Were Born In. You Were Lucky to Be Born in America, and It's About Damn Time You Showed Some Respect For the Freedoms You've Been Given. I raised you to be a different person than you turned out to be. I don't know how it happened, but something got a hold of you and you've just not the person you were five years ago. I don't know who you are anymore, because the boy that I raised to believe he was born in good country would never have said the things you said. we can't talk about this ever again. we will never agree and I can't take it anymore...i'm sorry you Hate So Much, but I did all I could with you...
-I don't hate anyone, that's-
-Anyone Except Your Country! No more talking about this. I have to go. i'm sorry you're so cynical. i'm sorry you feel so wronged. i'm sorry you're so disillusioned, but that's the life you choose and you have to live with it...
there's the street, merely 20 feet away and trembling beside the cold buildings and rotten carcass of a parking garages, lights on every floor... cars, trucks, fantasies by the window... meat products, aromas of beefkabob, beerswilling college boys cheering in the night... everything burning gas... I'm burning gas that comes from the ground and the whole process is totally inconceivable to me- but it fills my world with wonders- Vehicles Whsizing, lovelyshwishhh, and not to mention the pilot and the radiator and all the warmersteams of upwafting civilization in winter- where would we be? I, Philly, without these buildings and their armaments against the cold and freezing winds only infinite millimeters from your insulation,... good on ya, he said, dying of a heart attack there on his lawnmower- ood on ya!, keeled over dead... that's the day becky learned to hit from the red tees...
get minuscule, smallful, Titusrung, neorealinotwithstandingheatingcosts alone- WE must get-- GAS, and ever and ever more of it until it's all GONE. Jack Welch, former Ceo of GE, tells a room full of future CEOs to invest in energy. He knows that our ever expanding corporate strangle on the world NEEDS ENERGY. He also knows that getting the "Right People" Into the "Right Positions" is a key to controlling the country. he knows that moving products around the globe is wasting oil at rate that's going to dry up the world's supply within 100 years- The Supply Will Inevitably Dry up and be gone forever anyway- an Unavoidable Truth that Americans don't deal with well...
the great fish encapsulation sealsland a great many and washes forth a sea of frothy ruined in silver and gold. sigh in the middle of the night... don't take it for granted... bawk at the appearance of phantom cars that appear and disperse in a poofpuff of whiff by the window forgotten before they even happen. if you can't imagine an America without cars it's only because you can't look far enough. you must at least be able to see an American highways and city streets rid of the oil torching Hubris PODS rotting in ditches empty and burned out amongst the rubble and flowers- we laugh and dance the laugh and dance of the ones who see that this "civilization" is Unsustainable, and wish it good luck, knowing not what horrible final force it will take it to rein in the Masters's needs for death and dismemberment and our silent participation? they've got us too sad and tired to care anymore... don't fall for the scam industry of despair... depression is constructed and functional. the forces of evil are actively lobbing pill missiles from cruise ships. the final act of cowardliness and domination of the world begins when we put missiles in space... and guess what??
-and He doeth great wonders so that he make fire come down from the heaven on earth in the sight of men, And decieveth them that dwell on the earth by means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an Image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live. And he had power to give life unto the Image of the beast, that the beast should both Speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the Image of the beast should be killed. (Revelations 13:13)
The problem is not so much that the Pentagon is building a weapon system to surround the globe, but rather that many people feel this is a good idea- Boys down at the War Room are calling it "Full Spectrum Dominance". Chapter 2 of the "The Vision for 2020", (document available in full at http://www.space154k.stai.com/AFSPCnew/library...(i looked it up at work)) says, "The Vision looks 25 years into the future and may be summed up in one sentence: "A globally integrated aerospace force providing continuous deterrence and prompt engagement for America and its allies ... through control and exploitation of space and information."
in a plan where they gloat about "the ability to hold terrestrial targets at risk" and the inherent advantage of filling space with Our Satellites first, because they can fly weapons over any country without any sovereignty or border issues and whatnot... they uh, "expect this advantage to persist..."- because once you're there you can dictate who else gets to launch satellites- who else gets to broadcast news and information- this is the Imperial Eagle- the ultimate predator of the earth- able to engage targets in "near real time" and hinting at "high-energy weaponry"- cheer all you want for this, but as CCR sang-
"when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief',
they point the cannon at- you!"
always from behind the window... behind the bars, always outlooking at outlooking cars. driving in the dreams of others, walking about in the gardens of other's minds, looking for eggplant. nothing quite does it like mastercard, am iRIGHT folks?
the drug addled must learn that the ordinary is extraordinary on it's own terms, and the non-drug addled need to learn that clouds are breathing. just as it is as it allsways wuz...does he need sleep or recuperation? something tells this bloke to go for broke and not make a joke of his unspoken hope- all the cars, over and over, over and over, all the time cars, all night and every day cars, and don't say that's the way it's always been cuz thats bullshit. this is the PRESENT, and as The Present Decides to give us certain pleasures of eternity, wiffs, puffs, bodies smeard with it and the sad violins laughing, singing, at least one happy soul alone in the vibrating city night of sound and light- brain gun fired brain after brain over the castle wall to splatter googlysmoosh in the moat... goodnight cat, goodnight kittens, goodnight mittens and bowl of mush, old lady Rabbit whispering hush- goodnight moon and the red balloon, good night my friends, goodnight...
night after night in my dreams I'm back at my desk watching amateur news shots I downloaded off the internet. One Angle- filming firemen standing around a street grate. when the shot begins, they're all just standing around doing absolutely nothing watching one fireman fiddle with the street grate with some kinda metal stick, when they all hear this big engine thing flying over- is that a plane? they all look up and around, kindof confused, then the camera turns directly to the WTC and boom, guy screams "holy shit!", flames, falling rubble, people running...
another angle: someone filming the WTC for no apparent reason what-so-ever when an airplane appears from the left side of the screen and then disappears behind the tower. this guy at the bottom of the screen, who's eating a sandwich on butcher paper opened up on the roof of his car, when he hears this big boom and is almost slightly startled. then he turns around and looks and nearly shits himself, drops his sandwich even.
these tapes kept running over and over, and each time they'd be a little different. how many firemen in that last shot? which one was talking to a walkie talkie? which one had the stick? who looked up first? what kind of sandwich was it? this time the airplane appears from the right and explodes into the tower. this time the guy screams, "Muuuuther Fuuuucker!",
the flames are the same, and the rubble still falls and the people are still running, but each time the tapes are played it's getting closer and i'm not at my desk. i've been sucked into my monitor while imminent destruction is on "Pause" and we're flying over it in a satellite from space, zooming in from miles above to the tiny cogs of the circutboard cityscape. you're the satellite wandering in orbit only able to watch and see nothing human but points of movements and termination on a grid. you're a 4 Star General who only ever even cracks a grin while watching combat in real time from outer space. you speak of kill ratios and daisy cutters and noiseless entry and collateral damage death of real sons and daughters and mothers and fathers without flinching- without even the slightest hint of emotion to your buddies who all nod and agree because they too are psychotic or too weak to speak against your psychosis.
and lately in the land of democracy,
you've acquired the psycho's grin.
tailoring the bloodlust neckties of a conqueror,
weenee vidi WIN!
You stand ready to brand your "Good" on the People all over the World-
but 'United We Stand'
from the lips of an oil man
comes with a plan
to burn the planet's gas as fast as we can
misunderstanding or
overlooking the absolute finiteness of fossil fuels
or not caring,
which is easiest and most cowardly of
all
and has
nothing to do with
what comes after you
and the effects of the life you leave behind,
but the effects of the life you live presently in-between words, or
ontopofwords, orgroundrounddowntomean words, werd terds, for Terds iz
Werds dear friends ...pukeup everything on the hotel room floor, leave
the mess for the Maid.
another sweat drunk heathen night gone home without no laid,
the girl only wants to know, "how much do you get paid?", monstrously
afraid you'll love
her.
how long can she, America, hold back unsingable suffering- noiseless
thrashing about on a bed of feathers and fondue forks,
Auld Land Syne and champagne corks,
DiPhallactic DemonFuck for the false Profit "Progress" and even still at
this late date- GOD and DUTY to the Onward ImperiMall Urges tward
moremoreMoreMOreMOReMOREMOREMORE?
invitations to whore as Thor,
learn to kill in the Gay ol Core,
fight a War for the Country's Store
in a dream of meat without end.
...Axel's telling me a story about a young shaman that he read about in some book he doesn't remember, but "relates to the things that help us deal with it...
"this apprentice shaman gets all jammed up on Petyote and has this vision that he's falling into a deep dark chasm- a pit without end into total darkness- and he's Afraid- I mean, he's falling into Nothingness Forever- and you can't be afraid of Nothing- but still, he's Afraid- follow me now, so his fears take Shape- Fills the Nothing- maybe sink into features of the surroundings- Become Things. Now he's on a beach- he thinks he's been closing his eyes all this time and all this is in his head, but he opens his eyes and he really IS on this beach at like Midnight- everything Pitch Black- even the sand- and that's how he could tell he was on a beach- he could feel the sand and hear the water and see them barely- He's still too afraid to totally open his eyes- I mean, this kid had no idea what he was getting into, right? This Old Indian dude chanting some stuff, and giving him all these drugs, telling him to close his eye and fall in, well... now what? He's opened his eyes and he's on this beach and feels- Feels it in the Unexplainable way of dreams that this is the place of Ultimate Fear- can even see it in the shadows seeping upwards from the sand like oily water through the air- I mean- He's gone to the Place of All Fears in the Soul- where Raw Fear is Produced- and that's too far for an apprentice of his level- Too Difficult to remain intact and not Panic and Lose his Shit forever you know- you gotta be careful you go mucking about with the soul- anyway, he's overcome with Terror and starts screaming and there's no echo- No sound- no breath- No Air- it's like he's suffocating but not breathing at all on the edge of dying- (He finds out the next day from the Old Shaman that during this period of the trip he was writhing around on the floor choking himself with his own hands)- so Then from the ocean comes this ship- this big black Spanish Galleon coming in slow and low like midnight itself- like a magnet for all the fears- pulling the air into it's hull and spewing it out poisonlike and just evil- it was Pure Fear - and The Terror got to him- it was too much to bear and the apprentice is wailing nothing outloud to nothing and watching this movie reel of horrors going through his brain until the various visions of failures and mutilations of the spirit are clogged into one pill that he's swallowing constantly and choking up there on Fear Beach- and with all his fears amplified and knotted he feels lonely- wretched unloved loneliness aching in all his bones- the fear that he is trapped, alone behind those same two eyes forever, disconnected from everything...he's so terrified that the Terror itself reaches the breaking point inside him and he opens his eyes to the long dark scowl of a pterodactyl, spreading it's wings and sqWaawaking like crazy- as if things weren't bad enough, right?- he sees that things are coming off the boat- all these pterodactyl Lizard things- all Filing off like soldiers and lining up on the shore- and the apprentice is terrified and screaming- who are you? what do you want?- and they answer him in thoughts- speak right into his Brain- say that they're a species of Reptile from another planet that's come to rule Earth. well this apprentice just can't deal and freaks out and starts running- he go in way too far too fast- and the pterodactyls are flying after him, pecking him in the head the whole time shrieking- We'll RULE THE EARTH!! WE'LL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!! (raising his arms and flapping around the room)
-anyway... (Axel pauses for a sip of coffee)... next day, apprentice wakes up from his vision to find that the fears never resolved themselves- that these forces he found within himself that claim extraterrestrial origin and say they want to dominate the earth hadn't really settled themselves, so he tells the Old Shaman about his vision and describes all the fears- the beach where even the air and sand was permeated with pure fear- and the boat where all the Lizard Bird thingys got out and how he was overcome with terror- and he's telling all this to the old guy, but he's not, you know, feeling any sympathy, you know- the Old dude is just sitting there smiling, and the apprentice gets pissy and yells at him- "EVIL LIZARDS within My OWN Soul Told Me They WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!- and the Old Shaman just laughs- laughs and laughs, laughs out "That's what they always say!"
home for the holidays in the eternal sports bar talking to people I hadn't seen since highschool and didn't remember anyway. televisions everywhere all totally silent but creeping like scattered campfires at the upper edges and pretty much everywhere you could look. i'm talking to a kinda husky-but-cute-and-could-probably-lose-that-weight-if-she-wasn't-chain-smoking blonde girl, who feels that "thu reaal tragedy of Sept eleventh was that most of those people who were killed probably weren't saved by Christ and went to Hell- don'tchoo think? Cause most of them people in New York are atheists, right? Is it the same in Philadelthia?"
"no, actually...not everyone in New York is an atheist. not everyone in Texas is a Christian-"
"and That's the Problem!"
the last night of the Republican National Convention and all the main elevators are jammed as the Politicos left their parties with escorts, and the service elevators weren't moving as a security measure. I was working as a Production Assistant for Fox News. it was pouring rain outside and I'd purloined a cooler full of assorted beers from Trent Lott's Skybox party right after Bush's inauguration address and was trying to get it down to the golf cart before they towed it. the Secret Service had the stairwells closed off, so I had to wait for the elevator. this guy Leon, who was taking the leftover food downstairs- baguettes, dips, little blocks of cheese, several untouched shrimp cocktails smushed by stacks of plates squirting marinara sauce to run down the white table cloth. Leon was jumpshotting shrimp into the garbage can across the room to waste time, saying, "I tell you what, man... these people Can PARTY. I mean, GOD DAMN!, when they Throw Down, They ThROW Down! I mean, I like to drink just as much as the next guy, right? but these country club folk, I don't know...girls got they furs and they jewelry, and everybody laughin and drinkin they martinis. and i'm supposed to throw out all this food, and I can't find one goddamn bottle with a drop oliquor left in this whole bildn. they took it ALL, man... they took it all...
And Now, to the ominous everpresent facSICSCImo, that couped from inside... who knew it could happen here? scenes of Afghanistan on the news show a nation on Fire. people being beaten with sticks and buildings being burned in the background. Bush in an American Flag Turban reading his speech on tv.
i'm over at my friend Axel's house. Axel manages a real estate office for Slum Lords. they give loans to anyone to buy houses, he tells me, "no matter what their credit history, if they have a decent sum to put up front, we'll take it, put you in a deathtrap and soak you for whatever wages you can pull together- and you'll never have enough to make significant payments, like, to Buy, like they said in the Ad...but at $42,000 at 13%, you stand quite clearly Under the Thumb. when you can't pay, we evict you and sell the debt to a credit agency for .80 on the $1.00. and that's like releasing the hounds. imagine hundreds of robots programmed to bother you night and day until they get their money. these companies are Re-Lent-Less. they want their money. they don't see it as your money- they've already purchased the debt- it's Their money and they're going to get their money, or they'll ruin you. it's the only thing they do. they don't produce anything. all their business is living off people's debt. our company takes the loss, but keeps the house, and just sets up the next cash batteries with the same loan at 13% and it all happens again. these are numbers that never really translate into real cash, ya know- but only to be a sum that people always have to keep earning towards like, you know, the carrot and the donkey."
Turbaned Bush reading from the TelePrompTer: This is Civilization's Fight. This is the Fight of All who believe in Progress and Pluralism, Tolerance and Freedom!
Axel: it's wage slavery. no one ever talks about the fact that the abolitionists who opposed slavery in the South also opposed wage slavery of corporations in the North. it's clear who's behind the money in this country- I mean- how does an honest to God aristocracy arise in the midst of America and no one ever notices? I mean a true aristocracy with Patrilineal succession of power- how else do we have political families like the Kennedys and the Bush's and Colin Powel's son running the FCC?
Georgie: We will ask, and we will Need the help of Police Forces, Intelligence Services, and Banking Systems around the World.
Axel: lemme ask you this question- the Fed funds banks right? gives banks money, regulates the flow... well who gives money to the Fed? The Fed has to go to Private Investors to get the money they give to banks. Private Investors. and you can't find out who those investors are.
Georgius the II: I ask for your continued participation and confidence in the American economy. Terrorists attacked a symbol of American Prosperity. They did not touch it's source.
Axel: I was reading this book about the illuminati and you know... the guy had some interesting points. he said that the illumniati want to use up all the world's oil to speed up the process of global warming because they're all actually reptiles. if you look at Bush closely, his tongue seems to have a prosthetic slice to hide the fork. it's only a slight discoloration- look, there, you can kinda see it...the point was that they are the illuminati and they've got the money and the want the New World Order.
Hyno-Eyes BUSH, w/prosthetically corked fork: Americans should not expect one battle, but A LllllEeeeeNGTHYyy CAMPAIGN, unlike any other we have sssseen.
Axel: You've seen that stuff on the back of the dollar bill, the one eyed pyramid and all that stuff in Latin- all the Forefathers of this Country were Masons. Check out the coins-
Shrub: ...dramatic strikes, visible on television, and covert operations-
Axel: line up a quarter, nickel, dime and penny all with the heads rolled around, you know, the same way.
Busch, Head for the Mountains of: Every nation, in every region, no has a decision to make...
Axel: what do you notice right off- all the silver coins have heads facing left and the penny is facing right, right? why is that?
Butch: starve Terrorists of Funding, turn them on against each other, drive them from place to place, until there is no refuge or no rest.
Axel: because Washington, Jefferson and FDR were all Masons... guess who's not a Mason- Lincoln, who also freed the slaves. they're really on the side of all the silver coins against the One Brown one that symbolically and literally means the least.
CEO, USA Corp.: Every Nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us or you are with the Terrorists. From this day forward-
Axel: no one ever wonders about Who Designed the money... we just take it for granted- but this is stuff that someone put alot of thought into how they could make is just like they wanted. these decisions aren't arbitrary. they happen because someone has desired effects in mind-
THE W: dozens of Federal Departments and Agencies, as well as State and local governments, have a Responsibility affecting Homeland Security. These efforts must be coordinated at the highest level- SO tonight I announce the creation of a Cabinet-level position reporting directly to me- the office of Homeland Security.
Axel: and the Republicans hold up Lincoln as Their Guy without any sense of irony-
Talking Sandwich[with olive eyes and stabbed by toothpicks]: as a Threat to our Way of Wife is to Stop it, Eliminate it, and Destroy it where it Grows!
Axel: He's not even a good puppet- I mean, don't you they wish they could've gotten somebody to read the cards right, but that's an aristocracy for ya- the leisure class that's existed since civilization's began.
The Fear of being Eaten by a Sandwich flapping lips of Bologna: By sacrificing human life to serve their radical visions -- by abandoning every value except the Will to Power -- they follow in the path of Fascism and Nazism and Totalitarianism. And they will follow that path all the way to where it ends: in history's unmarked grave of discarded lies!
Axel: did you ever hear about what happened in South Africa. did you ever think about what's happened in South Africa for the last 100 years? do you know why it was colonized to begin with? to get the diamonds. the Diamond Interests Went in, Debeers, you know, the commercial that's all silhouettes to Debeers, the composer? well they have the largest share in the Mines there and the government set up Martial Law and put everyone to work on Mining the Diamonds. Mandela tried to fight it and they put him in jail, kept Martial Law and Apartheid going for the last 30 years, and then what happened- they said- ok, it's a happy country again, Mandela's out of jail and he's elected Democratically- and all the diamonds, gone. they took all the diamonds and said, ok, you can have your country back now. chalk one up for the age of Liberty, triumph of Democracy and all that... thanks for the rocks, and enjoy Coke, we're going back to Belgium, or wherever -but see, who were these people that did that?- you can't know who's the money behind these operations, but this is a clearly designed and implemented plan to hijack a country, rape and pillage for as long as they possibly could, which, in this case, was 30 something years, so, with actual slave labor, they were able to be careful and take their time getting everything. and where was the United State's Humanitarian Intervention then? they did it all with our support. we backed them the whole way. the same way we've supported Israel's political assassinations- we give them the helicopters with missiles to shoot into cars or apartment buildings, or whateverthefuckallthey decide to do with it- you've seen the pictures: Israeli tanks driving down the street at a bunch of little kids throwing rocks. these people have ROCKS for christsake. and the Israelis are armed to the fucking teeth with all this stuff they had to scratch the American Logo off there, ya know? eye for an eye, those people don't fuck around. over there, you turn 18 and Bam: here's you gun, gotta keep the Holy Land going.... when I was a little kid, I remember this, I asked my mom why the people over there were fighting, and she told me (doing the voice)'that's just the way they are, honey. it's just for religious reasons that go back thousands of years and we'll never know why'... and so, I always thought those places had been there for thousands of years, fighting the whole time. now come to find out that the Israel is a country the British put there in 1948 to create the Jewish Nation State after WWII. what? before that it was just called Palestine, all of it...and, ofcourse, predominantly Muslim, but everyone was getting along at least. do you know what this is? This is the Bush's family Plan to secure the Oil Reserves in the Middle East as a 'favor for future generations'. this is how Oil men think. They can't fucking stand the fact that those Godless Sonsubitches are sitting over there on all that oil. Old George was an Oil Man AND, AND Director of The C I A for nearly the whole cold War...this is the same Agency that arranged for the bombing of a Mosque in Nicaragua- bombed it at a time when ther'd be the most people and 80 people got killed. He Ordered This to Be Done. you know, in hindsight, who do you think was in charge of things when it was Regan-Bush? how the hell does a guy like Bush ever get elected President anyway. he's not attractive, or charming, or especially witty or interesting... he looks like an old dork. and they played up that whole Wimp thing. don't think the CIA doesn't think of things like this. if everybody thinks he's a Wimp, then you'll never believe he's the only Western leader ever to be convicted of a war crime. it's true, you can look it up. we invaded Nicaragua and killed a bunch of people and they didn't like that very much and took it up with this thing called the World Court, had you ever heard of the World Court? I hadn't, but, we rejected their decision that it wasn't right to Invade this country and kill all these people...anyway, Bush wants the OIL. he's had plenty of time and plenty of resources at his disposal to set everything up so that this country would go to War in the Middle East to secure the Oil patches. The US doesn't have that much oil left and they know it. Texas is pumped, lets face it, and they'll continue to rape the coastline and the Gulf and all that offshore crude, but that's why Little Georgie wants the Alaskan Wilderness opened up to Oil Companies- we're running out and they want to grab whats left while they still can. ...this has been brewing for a long time, I mean, Rome wasn't-[EVENT]... from the street outside, the scrreech of tires, Thud and crushed glass. Axel hyperventilates and has to find a paper bag, but is still compelled to actually leave his apartment and go see what happened. we go downstairs and outside on the pretext of going to the 7-11 across the street. the crystal quiet night is bathed in the nauseous swirl of siren light as a towtruck pulls a pickup out of a Volkswagen. someone's thrown a rock through the window of 7-11. the people on the sidewalk are all looking at down the street. I can't see what they're looking at and I can't hear a sound.
Back at work. early meeting and i've had too much coffee and am already sweating. try to make jokes, jot down notes, act like i'm busy... and the meeting hasn't even started...
in an room overlooking Philadelphia skyline of glass and silver, we convene begrudgingly to plot...
HeadofMarketingStrategyRudy: ok, clearly, consumers are going are going to be shaken up by this Tragedy- and I think they'll be asking themselves... asking themselves... Philip, what are they asking themselves?
CopyistPhil: they'll definitely be asking themselves questions... I agree..
HoMSRudy: but what Kind of questions? America has just been wounded! Livelihoods are at Stake here! what do consumers want??
[the table of people sit still and eyeing the floor mostly]
HoMSRudy: I know you all feel remorse for things, and that's good. I think that's perfect- let's talk about it- let's Use those feelings- what's going on with the Disney Project?
DisneyProjectCaptainGwen: well, Rudy, everyone.. of course, much has been made about the Viagra trends among the passing middle aged baby-boomer demographic, and we're projecting that that trend will hold and more empty-nesters are primed to revitalize sexual roots at Disney World.
HoMSRudy: Ok, fine, but what do they want- these baby-boomers- what is their inner most desire-
DPCGwenwhowilljust droneonifyoulether: well the babyboomers grew up in the safety and Jetsonesque 50's in very formative early childhood, but then the experienced the horror of the loss in Vietnam and the blossoming of the Counter-Culture Movement. it was a time of much confusion. their own lives were at stake and they questioned their universities and military institutions. Many Protested the Vietnam War or felt sympathy for the protesters but now feel a guilt about adopting this peacenik stance and blame it for loosing us Vietnam. They mostly made money in the eighties, lost it in the late eighties, and gained it back in the nineties under the inflated sums of the tech-boom, and have raised children who, incidentally, have responded positively to our 'suburban rebel-teen' models-
HoMSRudy: that's all well and good Gwen, but what can we sell to them?
DPCGwen: they want fantasy getaways, mostly, we think... this ties in with Viagra phenomenon that indicates empty-nesters are responding to their sexual urges again and wanting to feel right and comfortable about what they're doing.
HoMSRudy: anyone talking to the Sportscar People? the lamborghinis and whatnot- if there's dispensable income and a sexual need to spend then that must mean race cars, am I right? did you have more to say?
DPCGwen: only that the War on Terrorism is an opportunity to market to the babyboomers heavily with WWII type images and virtues, because it responds to their stimuli as children which they want to revisit now as they are beginning to feel the first real signs of aging and fears of death are beginning to surface [out of breath].
HoMSRudy: ok, ok, now we're getting somewhere- so the Disney Project is going for-
DPCGwen: the change-of-life-baby seekers- or at least those with disposable income looking for fantastic getaways...
HoMSRudy: and our angle is that it's our Patriotic Duty to Travel to Disney World- ohMYGOD- Philip, are you writing this down? we'll make Disney World the nation's Touchstone- everyone will come to it- from miles around- all the babyboomers who never grew up will be children again- Rightfully- Yes, Yes, this is going to Sell!! We'll Tell them to be children again- they were the 'First Disney Generation' now come back! ha! they'll eat it up!- Okay, enough Disney, what else do we have? what about Ford- have we a jingle yet? are there words ringing about in some corridor ready to spring forth wealth everlasting to me coffers? what say we Eustice? what melodious phrases will drive us into tomorrow?
us: well... [frozen in all the gleams of the boardroom's eyes who all know we haven't any jingles for Ford and just wait to hear the gruesome news- holding smiles so ridiculous that they inoculated themselves to ridicule, like wax potatoes with lips]...I was thinking of something like...um, (kindof pathetically singing) Balls to the Wall, um... Not Gonna Crawl, No, ... um, You're, uh, Sitting Tall Now, uh Answer the Call Now- Ford! (ending with confidence, wanting to bury my head in my hands and weep)
[hesitation to see how Rudy would react--]
HoMSRudy[breathing in real deep like and nodding]: ok, ok, I like it, I like it- Balls to Wall, Answer the Call- Ford- Yeah! I LikE! I LIKE! Consumers Will Believe it's Their Duty to Drive Trucks. It's What Being an American is all about- the right to have larger vehicle than your opponent on the road- WOW- did I just say opponent? Philip, check the tape- I'm having a vision...no, wait, it's just gas... no, wait- It is A ViSion- I can see it- Dunebuggies! Armament- Mad Max fantasies- we'll all be wandering through the desert battling it out for the last bit of Oil. it's going to be a big help in the battle if you have a big fuckin terror-mobile, ya know? are you with me? Philip, are you writing this down? DuneBuggies are the FUTURE! Balls to the Wall- You're Sitting Tall in a..DuneBuggy!- sing it with me people! DuneBuggies! Answer the Call- Dunebuggies! Anyway, Good. let's move then to the Untied We Stand campaign. We gotta move fast on this People-
Philip: pardon me sir, but the order is for United We Stand, sir...
HoMSRudy: Philip! You know how much I hate Sir Sandwiches! [stabs him in the hand with a pencil- Philip shrieks in pain, scuttles to clean up his mess]... ok, whoops it is 'UnIted' We Stand- sorry bout that, do you need some tissues? United makes alot more sense, don't you think? Untied might say it a little more accurately, but We'd Need to Stand United, as a Nation, right? I mean, so what's going to unite us?
DPCGwen: Viagra!
HoMSRudy: No, no, no... I mean What will Unite a People? People are only United out of Fear of an Outside threat- which we have, but if the terrorists don't do something else again soon, we'll wear ourselves assholes-out trying to fan the flames of this thing- I mean- I'm thinking something Prolonged, something that would divide America.. something that would Divide America into For and Against- We need to find out who will stick it out to the End- in History's Unmarked Bologna Sandwich- Who's going to...who's going to... Help Eat that Sandwich- who's going to... who's going to...
us: obey?
[evidently he'd been speaking to himself b/c the response gives him Pause]
HoMSRudy: ... obey... who's going to Obey? who's going to Rebel? What do they Obey? against what do they rebel? Who's in- Who's On board- Who's down for the count, who's come to the Mount- Who's With uS- are any of these sounding off any of you? - Who's Game? Who's Fame? Who's Name is Jane? I don't know- maybe- Are you Reichdeutch? Reichdeutch! ha! Get that one to the New York Office- the hip scene suffers for obscurities..... is any of this churning any ideas around? are you With me here? Eus, you're squirming there not wanting to say something- what is it? come on, more with obey... talk about Obey.
us: um... obey, to obey... to obey and not say, I guess... ...um, what... would come out naturally if just you let it... things you might say, but choose to obey... die inside maybe, and forget what you might have said...
[looking at the floor and jus kindof trailing off...]
HoMSRudy: ok, great... thanks for that, really. Would anyone else care to make some inane ramblings? [completing his joke and then to Eus] Are you on drugs?
us: no sir.
HoMSRudy: Philip, get Eustice some drugs- what flavor do you savor?
us: i'm making a point about information-
HoMSRudy: there's too much information, yeah, we've heard-
us: Not that there's too Much information but that the bulk of it is largely unproveable for...well, pretty much everybody- people just accept what tv tells them.
HoMSRudy: Thank God for that! am I right?
[some other nervous laughs, i'm feeling ill and talkative]
us: I mean, there's a trust there and people have ..um, faith that you're, well.. that... the information is Reality- or at least reflects reality. and I think that, I think that advertising United We Stand when we know that, well, that there are quite a few Americans who don't Stand UnIted, at least in the effort towards the War- I mean- don't we have a responsibility to at least advertise the truth?
[the was a long silence. a plastic bag, caught in
in-between-building zepherous-upgusts, spirals by the window...]
HoMSRudy: you're joking right?
us: No! [slamming fist to the table] I mean, the planet is running out of Oil and i'm doing jingles for trucks-
HoMSRudy: damnit Eus- I said DuneBuggies Were the Future!
us: it's all seduction into madness that I swallow Myself and my Soul with Every-
HoMSRudy: Were you ever called a drama queen? You're just being Alarmist-
us: Yes- Alarmist! Sound the Alarms! This is Political Propaganda for WAR- for More Terrorism!
HoMSRudy: for Chissakes, Eus, it's just a fuckin slogan-
us: A Phrase We'll Plaster everywhere on billboards and in bathroom stalls for Political Machines with their own Agenda- Anti-Democratic! Anti-HUman!
HoMSRudy [relaxing in his chair and grinning sarcastically]: Are you cracking up? Wow! I've always wanted to see someone crack! Please continue...
us: fuck you!
HoMSRudy: oh, you want to get fired is it?
us: fired? I quit [exits left]
HoMSRudy: Quit? you can't quit! - [yelling out the door now, down the hall] you have to at least try to get fired, right? I mean, if we fire you then you get a Benefits Package and Severance!! You're missing the chance to do something really Zany! come back here and kick me in the Balls! Come Kick Me in the Balls you WUSS! Bite my Pinky oFF- IDARE YOU!! TRIPPILEDOGDAREYOU!!
-remembering always Philip K. Dick's wisdom that finds heroism in tiny refusals, "you can always say no, refuse to participate..." wanting always to make tiny bigger.. I don't know, I don't know... I leave myself to the first northers of Autumn still tilting the shadows and shedding the trees in slow motion world death, each dying embers whispers the ghosts of Christmas Futures
The term Terrorists is expanded to include Terrorist Sympathizers, "Blame-America-Firsters", ACLU Lawyers, PETA activists, you and me. television brings us friends in the Agency, behind the scenes of a benevolent West Wing, tales of an honest Citizen Bush and the Golden Arc of the Covenant in the most effective propaganda mill history has ever known. News Entertainment, Entertainment News, Real Life Dramas, Reality Gameshows is all the rage("That President Bartlett is My Kinda Guy, huh uhc")... Car and Truck ads w/PRIDE.... Conzoliza Rice's One Hour Makeover...and people are beginning to ask themselves "Who Is the Weakest Link?".
The Weather is fastened to the skies and we have the overnight winter of Infinite Justice. Specialized Forces Infiltrate and Explode, the Taliban is already old news, The Age Of Global Liberty- must Smoke them out of Their Holes and bring the Terrorists to- say MacDonalds? Because right now on our New Dollar Menu we have- A Lengthy Campaign with Lots of Disturbing Pictures You're Going to Have to Find the Stomach for Or- Just Say "Supersize It" for- 40 billion dollar "relief" appropriation, passed by Congress in a special- sauce, lettuce-Jesus Was Rich! He Wore the Finest Clothes! Stayed in the Nicest Hotels! And He Wants You To- have a Coke and a- (blip!) power off, the magic show of light and sound disappear and the room falls silent...
it wouldn't be the city without sirens
always drifting in and out of the everpresent roadnoise background all
day and night
it wouldn't be the city without asphalt forever in all directions
creeping the Reganesque octopus arms of starsprinkled civilization's
starving need of scrap metal and fiber optic tongues and near death white
light meat want for more more and more-> drive to the ends of the earth-
you can- try the Pan American Highway to Neuvo Progresso Mexico, where
the poorest of the poorest wait under the border bridge, crying like
gulls on the shore where they can cry like gulls for the loose change you
don't give because you've come bargain hunting.
over the bridge for 5 dollar filet mignon, Cuervo Gold, and furniture for
a song, ignoring horrifying wails of malnourished accordions,
refusing Chicklets gum from a boy bearing a decorative crucifix complete
with Jesus nailed up, bleeding, sipping a Pina Colada in Holy nonchalance
and you don't even flinch, never for a second wondering what this's got
to do with you
and your lovely life in the airconditioned nightmare machinery of
America.
we live in (within) an aristocracy covered several layers thin,
complete comfort, dim, on couches through the nation watching
the world through the one guided eye of the power silos
and raising children who video tape themselves in their backyards
smashing each other over the head with metal chairs.
Welcome to America
I never thought i'd get used to it,
but it's years later than years before
and I don't hear anything anymore.... citywise that is,
the cars whoosh and shhhhooo hallucinated shadows carving the edges of
the room in a whispered rhythm
likealulledloopedshushingtapeofoceannoises
interssspersssssed with long periods of ssilence...
punct!uated by intermittent bursts of motorist exuberance-
driveshaft emotion realized in a mechanical Squawk amongst the flockers
the honkers, the geese are going bonkers in desperate deadlocked rush
hour traffic for hours without moving because of an accident only heard
about on the radio.
I dreamt a scene for the Schuykill Expressway: in the sweaty, post-work
afternoon, drivers stuck in bumper-to-bumper nobody going nowhere
total automotive paralysis kind of traffic, drivers
listening to the report from Suzy in the News Chopper
thumperbeating overhead turn off all that shit
stop honking desperate impotence to the air
turns off their cars
takes out their keys
and everybody stuck on the highway gets out,
goes to their trunks
gets out their tire irons
or anything blunt and heavy and preferably metal for smashing the
everloving Shit out of All the Cars-
Let the shattering of glass be upfront and personal!
Let the tearing of metal mean something inside!
leave the rotten carcass to rust and crumble,
just walk away,
or better yet- run.
imagine amber waves of grain and you on a tractor,
mowing and spewing the happy teeth of maniacal glee-
imagine a forest ancient as the stars as far as the eye can see,
and now strap chains to it and pull it down with your truck.
imagine sitting on a shoreline sucking down the ocean breeze,
squeezing a fistful of sand and peeing into the froth and wash
no light for hundreds of miles save the spectral glowings of sailboats
teetertottering crescent moons against a heaven of total blackness.
the stars coagulate and vomit a mess of marbled scattering that solidifies into a lovely bannastered stairway and well, what else but to suddenly find yourself in a truly awful white on white Regis-like color combo suit and tie, white spandex socks and white leather loafers with gold puritan buckles...
complimentary top hat and silver cane float down from outer space with 30's style big band with the cheesy white bandstand horn section and Krupastyle Kettle beating the shit out of that bass thaaang fills the vine covered culvert with thumpbumping, bouncesoff the backs of beach heads and row houses and barrels down the alley canyons if America dripping jasmine from slide trombones with a voice so fragile and clear it's hanging lewd laundry naked.
And do i take Top Hat and Cane?
Dance the stairway with fragile veins?
Eat Uncle-Sam Ham
for the 1000 year Reign?
sing along with the wailing moan?
"Daaaown at Club Limbo,
thhaaay still plaaaaaaaay STAAAAAaaaaaaarduust...
Down at Club Limbo,
thhaaaaaaats the plaaaaaaaaaace
for our luuuuuuvvvvvv...
© crossconnect 1995-2002 |
published in association with the |
university of pennsylvania's kelly writers house |
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d o w n a t c l u b l i m b o, d a n c i n g o n h i s t o r y 's u n m a r k e d g r a v e o f d i s c a r d e d l i e s
--- J E F F M C C A L L
i'm sitting in my office trying to steal a jingle for Ford Trucks from Bob Dylan mp3s when I hear Rudy in the other room tell Margo that a plane just hit the World Trade Center. then another plane crashed into it, and then a third. someone's calling bomb threats into the White House and the Pentagon is on fire. No one can get in or out. suicide car bombers in Washington. the country is under attack. and from the back of my stomach a feeling I know i'm going to have to get used to is beginning to seep in- everything is not going to be ok.
but I was wrong, everything is fine. everything is just fine...
it's January now and everything is just peachy.
America is dropping the tons
the Taliban is on the run,
hey this War thing's kinda fun,
'The Ultimate Evil's Day is Done!'
the world must be safe for the Pentagon Sons
and triple beef patties on buttered buns...
can a WAR on TERRORISM ever really be WON?
Will AMERICA Have it's DAY in the SUN?
And if it does
will it be
the America
that's We
the People
and not
the tools
of corporate money?
they sent us home, so I walked home simply stunned by what a gorgeous, cool blue day it was. squirrels feasting on Cheetos from the garbage behind Wawa... traffic cops getting dancy for they're own entertainment at the crux of four lanes going to one due to new construction- Tangled up in Trucks- honks of gaseaters effervescing real invisible bubbles up to the big clear blue round, emissions wavy to and through this thing that looks like nothing, save
a lonely wisp of cloud hung midway in the sky...
and nature didn't seem to mind
6 thousand people just died.
television, however, minded very much.
-this thing was MasterMinded....and not on a Monday, but a Tuesday- has anyone noticed the lack of Arab democracies? -covered in soot, from head to toe, he just couldn't- hHuge network of international terrorist hharbored by rogue- Cowardly Fearmongering Freedom Hating, but not that people should Hate the Islamic doctrine, for what it's worth, it's Evil People We're- Full Of Gas, see? the planes were going cross country! flying bombs! like man guided- Trust in the American people to support a Full Mobilization to Free the nations of the world from Terrorism and Evil in all it's- newly proposed Office of HomeLand Security, which will be headed up by our own Governor, Tom Ridge, who has a long history of serving justice and rooting out- Dan Quayle, who is here with us tonight all the way from- hell yeah I'm enlisting, it's the Right thing for a Responsible- duck and cover might have been a joke yesterday, but experts say may prove that going back to the Old Ways, could possibly provide safety from- a loss of control for our Way of Life, and a werld unnfferrling into uh TOtally Feevered and candy colored chaos...
for nearly the whole week after the attack FOXNews runs without commercials under the banner "AMERICA UNITED". Phepherd Phmiff kept saying (Phepherd "for Unbiased Reporting, Turn to FOXNews, and FOXNewsdotcom" Phmiff) over and over, "We Know the psychology of people, and We Know how people are going to react, wouldn't you say doctor? -- and We Know that the grieving period for this sort of tragedy is about, what would you say, about...24, to maybe 38, perhaps, maybe even 72, but We Know that then, after the grieving period there is a prolonged feeling of ABSOLUTE RAGE. would you say this is generally The Correct Thinking on this doctor?--"
Dr. Expert- "well, yes, Phepherd, i'd have to agree-"
Phepherd- "and we can expect, from what We Know is proven, that when the period of mourning is over, say, 48 hours, then the rage sets in, and who then can we turn that anger against? for an answer to this we turn now to our expert on the Middle East, a picture of Osama Bin Laden holding a gun. Picture of Osama, it's a pleasure to have you on the show... can you give our viewers tonight, some insight, into the nature of the terrorist mind?
Osama: well Phep, I'm just insane with rage and there's no rational explanation for it. I hate all things Western and Un-Islamic and want to impose my view point over the infidels over all the world, but mainly I just want jet skis.
Phepherd: jet skis?
Osama: and your women too, of course... but even more than your women, I want your wave-runners. they look like so much fun. ...have you ever tried one?
Phepherd: yeah, we have a couple at the beach house at the Vineyard, they're a blast.
Osama: they look like fun, but as Allah forbids empty western pleasures, and... since we couldn't find a lake front cave in all of Afghanistan, I will never Jet-Ski. If I lived in America, my millions could get me a little place somewhere, a ranch maybe, and i'd have jet skis... and a rifle range... but it is my fate to never feel the cool lake spray through my course and sandy beard, so Look Out Holy Momma- Here Come The USAMA!
Phep: Well, folks, you've seen it there for yourselves: the face of Evil Itself- religious zealots willing to die for their False God. the American Consumers, who's cause is JusT, are now asking themselves- what am I willing to die for? what does it mean to be a Citizen? Tune into the National Cathedral at 7 oclock to hear Republicans and Democrats join together in a chorus of "God Bless America" on the steps of the Capitol in a bi-partisian song to show that the two parties have come together to form ONE United Front for War Against Terrorism!
later... a story of True Patriotism, where the younger brother, Todd(not real name), enlisted to join his brother in their call to Duty. Older Brother Charley has two kids and his wife is scared to death. -so, you don't want them to go?, asks the reporter... -Absolutely Not! It's ridiculous...i can't believe this is all happening, it's just surreal, she says, burping baby #3. But Older Brother Charley gives his brother a loving Noogie and says, he's Proud that his little brother's coming with him. -we've got to make the world safe, and get rid of these terrorist people for our children. And we've got to get them where they Grow.
little brother Todd: well, it's not just following my brother as much as this is A Cause I can believe in and get behind, I mean, it's something Real... and I just feel like i've got to be a part of something this Big and Important.
News8Brad: we can only Hope this kind of Patriotism is contagious, right Tonya?
News8Tonya: I think maybe you're contagious, Brad [grinning fiendishly].
News8Brad: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha [also grinning fiendishly].
News8Tonya: Ha HA HA HA, ahh, we like to make it fun on the Morning show, and in the spirit of fun, we have Dick Cheney on satellite link from an undisclosed location in Maui to read a little, um, poetry?
Dick: Yo Yo Yo i'm Granmaster-D kickin it Old school on the beach stormin tip here to spit some bullshit rhymes all the time sublime in the Air-Force Deuce! [on the monitor from a luau in Maui sporting purple velvet pimp hat with a big red feather, some heavy gold chains and a royal Dalmatian coat (a little warm for the beach, some thought) chugging boat drinks, a camera follows him leading a congo line around a fire pit pig bbq and rapping into a wireless mic]
YO YO YO YO! I'm DICK the ViP- the VEE!I!PEE!
jus chillin out the Vice Presidency
as far from you as I can be
cuz you might get bombed, suckas!
when I was back running
my oil company
All the fine ladies
Wantin to bump witme
even though I was fat and bald
you gotta respect the Bejamins... [fanning out handfulls of hundreds]
now I gotta keep shit
my
on the D-L
lookin at my books go
wouldn't well
cuz I'm just hiding out- as far as you know
but but really i'm back here running the show from my
Bunker- Under
ground
with walls and towers
girdled round
Blow up a nuke-
it won't make no sound
while i'm watching me
Teevees
so Unfurl the Flags!
release the sequined hags!
the tagged and bagged in Polo rags
without no change to spare-
We'll keep the oil for the Rightful Heirs.
and Everyone Against US better Beware-
Here Comes Brand Name Justice!
i called my mother, who said she didn't want to talk about it, that there was just too much else to worry about, that I couldn't know, that there's just too much going on here and why couldn't I just get behind my country. "I just hate what that school's done to you. you never used to say the awful things you say now. you never used to be such a liberal. you call that education? Hating your country? I can't believe you've said the terrible things you've said in your emails. don't email me anymore, please, because I just can't take it. all your generation just never has had the kind of Pride in Your Country that you're Supposed to Have, that you should feel a connection to your people and what you commonly believe-
-what? that we support the killing of more innocent people?
-No matter what you say, you won't change my mind. The American people are decent people, and I don't think President Bush has any choice but to go after these, these Scumbags who think they can get away will killing 6,000 decent citizens- did you know that we gave them, gave the Afghanis- a whole bunch of money to build a stadium... an athletic stadium... and they use it to massacre their own people? they just slaughter them all the time, and starve them- don't give them anything to eat- women, children, and you know, you won't agree with me i'm sure, but there's no other way to react to these people that to show them Resolve. there world has to be made a safe place for decent people.
-do you think God is on our side?
-I should hope so.
-and it's God's will that we should invade Afghanistan?
-I don't want to talk to you about this. you just don't understand. I drink pepto bismol every day. no one is buying houses and the market isn't going to turn around. the economy is grinding to a halt and your father and I work on commission, so there's just no... just no... no guarantees about how life's going to turn out... you'll understand this when you get a little older. you'll have to, you'll see... I was alive during the Vietnam War and.. I was against it, then... because those are the kindof beliefs that you're supposed to have when you're that age, but you'll see, when you get to my age you understand...sometimes you just have to show Resolve.
-What do you mean by 'Resolve'?
-Oh don't Start that Shit. They've got to do something... what do you expect them to do? Nothing?
-Not Them. Us. What are We Going to do?
-We Can't Do Nothing. Terrorism Must be stopped! We can't let those people think they can just go around killing American Citizens!
-and by what means should we get vengeance?
-I told you I don't want to talk about this and I meant it. you'll never change my mind. maybe when you're a bit older, come talk to me then. I've seen America in Good Times and Bad, and everything is going to be okay....you just have to have faith in your Country and your Leaders. You're So Cynical at such a young age, I don't envy you at all...someone who can only be Negative about life- Negative about the country You Were Born In. You Were Lucky to Be Born in America, and It's About Damn Time You Showed Some Respect For the Freedoms You've Been Given. I raised you to be a different person than you turned out to be. I don't know how it happened, but something got a hold of you and you've just not the person you were five years ago. I don't know who you are anymore, because the boy that I raised to believe he was born in good country would never have said the things you said. we can't talk about this ever again. we will never agree and I can't take it anymore...i'm sorry you Hate So Much, but I did all I could with you...
-I don't hate anyone, that's-
-Anyone Except Your Country! No more talking about this. I have to go. i'm sorry you're so cynical. i'm sorry you feel so wronged. i'm sorry you're so disillusioned, but that's the life you choose and you have to live with it...
there's the street, merely 20 feet away and trembling beside the cold buildings and rotten carcass of a parking garages, lights on every floor... cars, trucks, fantasies by the window... meat products, aromas of beefkabob, beerswilling college boys cheering in the night... everything burning gas... I'm burning gas that comes from the ground and the whole process is totally inconceivable to me- but it fills my world with wonders- Vehicles Whsizing, lovelyshwishhh, and not to mention the pilot and the radiator and all the warmersteams of upwafting civilization in winter- where would we be? I, Philly, without these buildings and their armaments against the cold and freezing winds only infinite millimeters from your insulation,... good on ya, he said, dying of a heart attack there on his lawnmower- ood on ya!, keeled over dead... that's the day becky learned to hit from the red tees...
get minuscule, smallful, Titusrung, neorealinotwithstandingheatingcosts alone- WE must get-- GAS, and ever and ever more of it until it's all GONE. Jack Welch, former Ceo of GE, tells a room full of future CEOs to invest in energy. He knows that our ever expanding corporate strangle on the world NEEDS ENERGY. He also knows that getting the "Right People" Into the "Right Positions" is a key to controlling the country. he knows that moving products around the globe is wasting oil at rate that's going to dry up the world's supply within 100 years- The Supply Will Inevitably Dry up and be gone forever anyway- an Unavoidable Truth that Americans don't deal with well...
the great fish encapsulation sealsland a great many and washes forth a sea of frothy ruined in silver and gold. sigh in the middle of the night... don't take it for granted... bawk at the appearance of phantom cars that appear and disperse in a poofpuff of whiff by the window forgotten before they even happen. if you can't imagine an America without cars it's only because you can't look far enough. you must at least be able to see an American highways and city streets rid of the oil torching Hubris PODS rotting in ditches empty and burned out amongst the rubble and flowers- we laugh and dance the laugh and dance of the ones who see that this "civilization" is Unsustainable, and wish it good luck, knowing not what horrible final force it will take it to rein in the Masters's needs for death and dismemberment and our silent participation? they've got us too sad and tired to care anymore... don't fall for the scam industry of despair... depression is constructed and functional. the forces of evil are actively lobbing pill missiles from cruise ships. the final act of cowardliness and domination of the world begins when we put missiles in space... and guess what??
-and He doeth great wonders so that he make fire come down from the heaven on earth in the sight of men, And decieveth them that dwell on the earth by means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an Image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live. And he had power to give life unto the Image of the beast, that the beast should both Speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the Image of the beast should be killed. (Revelations 13:13)
The problem is not so much that the Pentagon is building a weapon system to surround the globe, but rather that many people feel this is a good idea- Boys down at the War Room are calling it "Full Spectrum Dominance". Chapter 2 of the "The Vision for 2020", (document available in full at http://www.space154k.stai.com/AFSPCnew/library...(i looked it up at work)) says, "The Vision looks 25 years into the future and may be summed up in one sentence: "A globally integrated aerospace force providing continuous deterrence and prompt engagement for America and its allies ... through control and exploitation of space and information."
in a plan where they gloat about "the ability to hold terrestrial targets at risk" and the inherent advantage of filling space with Our Satellites first, because they can fly weapons over any country without any sovereignty or border issues and whatnot... they uh, "expect this advantage to persist..."- because once you're there you can dictate who else gets to launch satellites- who else gets to broadcast news and information- this is the Imperial Eagle- the ultimate predator of the earth- able to engage targets in "near real time" and hinting at "high-energy weaponry"- cheer all you want for this, but as CCR sang-
"when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief',
they point the cannon at- you!"
always from behind the window... behind the bars, always outlooking at outlooking cars. driving in the dreams of others, walking about in the gardens of other's minds, looking for eggplant. nothing quite does it like mastercard, am iRIGHT folks?
the drug addled must learn that the ordinary is extraordinary on it's own terms, and the non-drug addled need to learn that clouds are breathing. just as it is as it allsways wuz...does he need sleep or recuperation? something tells this bloke to go for broke and not make a joke of his unspoken hope- all the cars, over and over, over and over, all the time cars, all night and every day cars, and don't say that's the way it's always been cuz thats bullshit. this is the PRESENT, and as The Present Decides to give us certain pleasures of eternity, wiffs, puffs, bodies smeard with it and the sad violins laughing, singing, at least one happy soul alone in the vibrating city night of sound and light- brain gun fired brain after brain over the castle wall to splatter googlysmoosh in the moat... goodnight cat, goodnight kittens, goodnight mittens and bowl of mush, old lady Rabbit whispering hush- goodnight moon and the red balloon, good night my friends, goodnight...
night after night in my dreams I'm back at my desk watching amateur news shots I downloaded off the internet. One Angle- filming firemen standing around a street grate. when the shot begins, they're all just standing around doing absolutely nothing watching one fireman fiddle with the street grate with some kinda metal stick, when they all hear this big engine thing flying over- is that a plane? they all look up and around, kindof confused, then the camera turns directly to the WTC and boom, guy screams "holy shit!", flames, falling rubble, people running...
another angle: someone filming the WTC for no apparent reason what-so-ever when an airplane appears from the left side of the screen and then disappears behind the tower. this guy at the bottom of the screen, who's eating a sandwich on butcher paper opened up on the roof of his car, when he hears this big boom and is almost slightly startled. then he turns around and looks and nearly shits himself, drops his sandwich even.
these tapes kept running over and over, and each time they'd be a little different. how many firemen in that last shot? which one was talking to a walkie talkie? which one had the stick? who looked up first? what kind of sandwich was it? this time the airplane appears from the right and explodes into the tower. this time the guy screams, "Muuuuther Fuuuucker!",
the flames are the same, and the rubble still falls and the people are still running, but each time the tapes are played it's getting closer and i'm not at my desk. i've been sucked into my monitor while imminent destruction is on "Pause" and we're flying over it in a satellite from space, zooming in from miles above to the tiny cogs of the circutboard cityscape. you're the satellite wandering in orbit only able to watch and see nothing human but points of movements and termination on a grid. you're a 4 Star General who only ever even cracks a grin while watching combat in real time from outer space. you speak of kill ratios and daisy cutters and noiseless entry and collateral damage death of real sons and daughters and mothers and fathers without flinching- without even the slightest hint of emotion to your buddies who all nod and agree because they too are psychotic or too weak to speak against your psychosis.
and lately in the land of democracy,
you've acquired the psycho's grin.
tailoring the bloodlust neckties of a conqueror,
weenee vidi WIN!
You stand ready to brand your "Good" on the People all over the World-
but 'United We Stand'
from the lips of an oil man
comes with a plan
to burn the planet's gas as fast as we can
misunderstanding or
overlooking the absolute finiteness of fossil fuels
or not caring,
which is easiest and most cowardly of
all
and has
nothing to do with
what comes after you
and the effects of the life you leave behind,
but the effects of the life you live presently in-between words, or
ontopofwords, orgroundrounddowntomean words, werd terds, for Terds iz
Werds dear friends ...pukeup everything on the hotel room floor, leave
the mess for the Maid.
another sweat drunk heathen night gone home without no laid,
the girl only wants to know, "how much do you get paid?", monstrously
afraid you'll love
her.
how long can she, America, hold back unsingable suffering- noiseless
thrashing about on a bed of feathers and fondue forks,
Auld Land Syne and champagne corks,
DiPhallactic DemonFuck for the false Profit "Progress" and even still at
this late date- GOD and DUTY to the Onward ImperiMall Urges tward
moremoreMoreMOreMOReMOREMOREMORE?
invitations to whore as Thor,
learn to kill in the Gay ol Core,
fight a War for the Country's Store
in a dream of meat without end.
...Axel's telling me a story about a young shaman that he read about in some book he doesn't remember, but "relates to the things that help us deal with it...
"this apprentice shaman gets all jammed up on Petyote and has this vision that he's falling into a deep dark chasm- a pit without end into total darkness- and he's Afraid- I mean, he's falling into Nothingness Forever- and you can't be afraid of Nothing- but still, he's Afraid- follow me now, so his fears take Shape- Fills the Nothing- maybe sink into features of the surroundings- Become Things. Now he's on a beach- he thinks he's been closing his eyes all this time and all this is in his head, but he opens his eyes and he really IS on this beach at like Midnight- everything Pitch Black- even the sand- and that's how he could tell he was on a beach- he could feel the sand and hear the water and see them barely- He's still too afraid to totally open his eyes- I mean, this kid had no idea what he was getting into, right? This Old Indian dude chanting some stuff, and giving him all these drugs, telling him to close his eye and fall in, well... now what? He's opened his eyes and he's on this beach and feels- Feels it in the Unexplainable way of dreams that this is the place of Ultimate Fear- can even see it in the shadows seeping upwards from the sand like oily water through the air- I mean- He's gone to the Place of All Fears in the Soul- where Raw Fear is Produced- and that's too far for an apprentice of his level- Too Difficult to remain intact and not Panic and Lose his Shit forever you know- you gotta be careful you go mucking about with the soul- anyway, he's overcome with Terror and starts screaming and there's no echo- No sound- no breath- No Air- it's like he's suffocating but not breathing at all on the edge of dying- (He finds out the next day from the Old Shaman that during this period of the trip he was writhing around on the floor choking himself with his own hands)- so Then from the ocean comes this ship- this big black Spanish Galleon coming in slow and low like midnight itself- like a magnet for all the fears- pulling the air into it's hull and spewing it out poisonlike and just evil- it was Pure Fear - and The Terror got to him- it was too much to bear and the apprentice is wailing nothing outloud to nothing and watching this movie reel of horrors going through his brain until the various visions of failures and mutilations of the spirit are clogged into one pill that he's swallowing constantly and choking up there on Fear Beach- and with all his fears amplified and knotted he feels lonely- wretched unloved loneliness aching in all his bones- the fear that he is trapped, alone behind those same two eyes forever, disconnected from everything...he's so terrified that the Terror itself reaches the breaking point inside him and he opens his eyes to the long dark scowl of a pterodactyl, spreading it's wings and sqWaawaking like crazy- as if things weren't bad enough, right?- he sees that things are coming off the boat- all these pterodactyl Lizard things- all Filing off like soldiers and lining up on the shore- and the apprentice is terrified and screaming- who are you? what do you want?- and they answer him in thoughts- speak right into his Brain- say that they're a species of Reptile from another planet that's come to rule Earth. well this apprentice just can't deal and freaks out and starts running- he go in way too far too fast- and the pterodactyls are flying after him, pecking him in the head the whole time shrieking- We'll RULE THE EARTH!! WE'LL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!! (raising his arms and flapping around the room)
-anyway... (Axel pauses for a sip of coffee)... next day, apprentice wakes up from his vision to find that the fears never resolved themselves- that these forces he found within himself that claim extraterrestrial origin and say they want to dominate the earth hadn't really settled themselves, so he tells the Old Shaman about his vision and describes all the fears- the beach where even the air and sand was permeated with pure fear- and the boat where all the Lizard Bird thingys got out and how he was overcome with terror- and he's telling all this to the old guy, but he's not, you know, feeling any sympathy, you know- the Old dude is just sitting there smiling, and the apprentice gets pissy and yells at him- "EVIL LIZARDS within My OWN Soul Told Me They WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!- and the Old Shaman just laughs- laughs and laughs, laughs out "That's what they always say!"
home for the holidays in the eternal sports bar talking to people I hadn't seen since highschool and didn't remember anyway. televisions everywhere all totally silent but creeping like scattered campfires at the upper edges and pretty much everywhere you could look. i'm talking to a kinda husky-but-cute-and-could-probably-lose-that-weight-if-she-wasn't-chain-smoking blonde girl, who feels that "thu reaal tragedy of Sept eleventh was that most of those people who were killed probably weren't saved by Christ and went to Hell- don'tchoo think? Cause most of them people in New York are atheists, right? Is it the same in Philadelthia?"
"no, actually...not everyone in New York is an atheist. not everyone in Texas is a Christian-"
"and That's the Problem!"
the last night of the Republican National Convention and all the main elevators are jammed as the Politicos left their parties with escorts, and the service elevators weren't moving as a security measure. I was working as a Production Assistant for Fox News. it was pouring rain outside and I'd purloined a cooler full of assorted beers from Trent Lott's Skybox party right after Bush's inauguration address and was trying to get it down to the golf cart before they towed it. the Secret Service had the stairwells closed off, so I had to wait for the elevator. this guy Leon, who was taking the leftover food downstairs- baguettes, dips, little blocks of cheese, several untouched shrimp cocktails smushed by stacks of plates squirting marinara sauce to run down the white table cloth. Leon was jumpshotting shrimp into the garbage can across the room to waste time, saying, "I tell you what, man... these people Can PARTY. I mean, GOD DAMN!, when they Throw Down, They ThROW Down! I mean, I like to drink just as much as the next guy, right? but these country club folk, I don't know...girls got they furs and they jewelry, and everybody laughin and drinkin they martinis. and i'm supposed to throw out all this food, and I can't find one goddamn bottle with a drop oliquor left in this whole bildn. they took it ALL, man... they took it all...
And Now, to the ominous everpresent facSICSCImo, that couped from inside... who knew it could happen here? scenes of Afghanistan on the news show a nation on Fire. people being beaten with sticks and buildings being burned in the background. Bush in an American Flag Turban reading his speech on tv.
i'm over at my friend Axel's house. Axel manages a real estate office for Slum Lords. they give loans to anyone to buy houses, he tells me, "no matter what their credit history, if they have a decent sum to put up front, we'll take it, put you in a deathtrap and soak you for whatever wages you can pull together- and you'll never have enough to make significant payments, like, to Buy, like they said in the Ad...but at $42,000 at 13%, you stand quite clearly Under the Thumb. when you can't pay, we evict you and sell the debt to a credit agency for .80 on the $1.00. and that's like releasing the hounds. imagine hundreds of robots programmed to bother you night and day until they get their money. these companies are Re-Lent-Less. they want their money. they don't see it as your money- they've already purchased the debt- it's Their money and they're going to get their money, or they'll ruin you. it's the only thing they do. they don't produce anything. all their business is living off people's debt. our company takes the loss, but keeps the house, and just sets up the next cash batteries with the same loan at 13% and it all happens again. these are numbers that never really translate into real cash, ya know- but only to be a sum that people always have to keep earning towards like, you know, the carrot and the donkey."
Turbaned Bush reading from the TelePrompTer: This is Civilization's Fight. This is the Fight of All who believe in Progress and Pluralism, Tolerance and Freedom!
Axel: it's wage slavery. no one ever talks about the fact that the abolitionists who opposed slavery in the South also opposed wage slavery of corporations in the North. it's clear who's behind the money in this country- I mean- how does an honest to God aristocracy arise in the midst of America and no one ever notices? I mean a true aristocracy with Patrilineal succession of power- how else do we have political families like the Kennedys and the Bush's and Colin Powel's son running the FCC?
Georgie: We will ask, and we will Need the help of Police Forces, Intelligence Services, and Banking Systems around the World.
Axel: lemme ask you this question- the Fed funds banks right? gives banks money, regulates the flow... well who gives money to the Fed? The Fed has to go to Private Investors to get the money they give to banks. Private Investors. and you can't find out who those investors are.
Georgius the II: I ask for your continued participation and confidence in the American economy. Terrorists attacked a symbol of American Prosperity. They did not touch it's source.
Axel: I was reading this book about the illuminati and you know... the guy had some interesting points. he said that the illumniati want to use up all the world's oil to speed up the process of global warming because they're all actually reptiles. if you look at Bush closely, his tongue seems to have a prosthetic slice to hide the fork. it's only a slight discoloration- look, there, you can kinda see it...the point was that they are the illuminati and they've got the money and the want the New World Order.
Hyno-Eyes BUSH, w/prosthetically corked fork: Americans should not expect one battle, but A LllllEeeeeNGTHYyy CAMPAIGN, unlike any other we have sssseen.
Axel: You've seen that stuff on the back of the dollar bill, the one eyed pyramid and all that stuff in Latin- all the Forefathers of this Country were Masons. Check out the coins-
Shrub: ...dramatic strikes, visible on television, and covert operations-
Axel: line up a quarter, nickel, dime and penny all with the heads rolled around, you know, the same way.
Busch, Head for the Mountains of: Every nation, in every region, no has a decision to make...
Axel: what do you notice right off- all the silver coins have heads facing left and the penny is facing right, right? why is that?
Butch: starve Terrorists of Funding, turn them on against each other, drive them from place to place, until there is no refuge or no rest.
Axel: because Washington, Jefferson and FDR were all Masons... guess who's not a Mason- Lincoln, who also freed the slaves. they're really on the side of all the silver coins against the One Brown one that symbolically and literally means the least.
CEO, USA Corp.: Every Nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us or you are with the Terrorists. From this day forward-
Axel: no one ever wonders about Who Designed the money... we just take it for granted- but this is stuff that someone put alot of thought into how they could make is just like they wanted. these decisions aren't arbitrary. they happen because someone has desired effects in mind-
THE W: dozens of Federal Departments and Agencies, as well as State and local governments, have a Responsibility affecting Homeland Security. These efforts must be coordinated at the highest level- SO tonight I announce the creation of a Cabinet-level position reporting directly to me- the office of Homeland Security.
Axel: and the Republicans hold up Lincoln as Their Guy without any sense of irony-
Talking Sandwich[with olive eyes and stabbed by toothpicks]: as a Threat to our Way of Wife is to Stop it, Eliminate it, and Destroy it where it Grows!
Axel: He's not even a good puppet- I mean, don't you they wish they could've gotten somebody to read the cards right, but that's an aristocracy for ya- the leisure class that's existed since civilization's began.
The Fear of being Eaten by a Sandwich flapping lips of Bologna: By sacrificing human life to serve their radical visions -- by abandoning every value except the Will to Power -- they follow in the path of Fascism and Nazism and Totalitarianism. And they will follow that path all the way to where it ends: in history's unmarked grave of discarded lies!
Axel: did you ever hear about what happened in South Africa. did you ever think about what's happened in South Africa for the last 100 years? do you know why it was colonized to begin with? to get the diamonds. the Diamond Interests Went in, Debeers, you know, the commercial that's all silhouettes to Debeers, the composer? well they have the largest share in the Mines there and the government set up Martial Law and put everyone to work on Mining the Diamonds. Mandela tried to fight it and they put him in jail, kept Martial Law and Apartheid going for the last 30 years, and then what happened- they said- ok, it's a happy country again, Mandela's out of jail and he's elected Democratically- and all the diamonds, gone. they took all the diamonds and said, ok, you can have your country back now. chalk one up for the age of Liberty, triumph of Democracy and all that... thanks for the rocks, and enjoy Coke, we're going back to Belgium, or wherever -but see, who were these people that did that?- you can't know who's the money behind these operations, but this is a clearly designed and implemented plan to hijack a country, rape and pillage for as long as they possibly could, which, in this case, was 30 something years, so, with actual slave labor, they were able to be careful and take their time getting everything. and where was the United State's Humanitarian Intervention then? they did it all with our support. we backed them the whole way. the same way we've supported Israel's political assassinations- we give them the helicopters with missiles to shoot into cars or apartment buildings, or whateverthefuckallthey decide to do with it- you've seen the pictures: Israeli tanks driving down the street at a bunch of little kids throwing rocks. these people have ROCKS for christsake. and the Israelis are armed to the fucking teeth with all this stuff they had to scratch the American Logo off there, ya know? eye for an eye, those people don't fuck around. over there, you turn 18 and Bam: here's you gun, gotta keep the Holy Land going.... when I was a little kid, I remember this, I asked my mom why the people over there were fighting, and she told me (doing the voice)'that's just the way they are, honey. it's just for religious reasons that go back thousands of years and we'll never know why'... and so, I always thought those places had been there for thousands of years, fighting the whole time. now come to find out that the Israel is a country the British put there in 1948 to create the Jewish Nation State after WWII. what? before that it was just called Palestine, all of it...and, ofcourse, predominantly Muslim, but everyone was getting along at least. do you know what this is? This is the Bush's family Plan to secure the Oil Reserves in the Middle East as a 'favor for future generations'. this is how Oil men think. They can't fucking stand the fact that those Godless Sonsubitches are sitting over there on all that oil. Old George was an Oil Man AND, AND Director of The C I A for nearly the whole cold War...this is the same Agency that arranged for the bombing of a Mosque in Nicaragua- bombed it at a time when ther'd be the most people and 80 people got killed. He Ordered This to Be Done. you know, in hindsight, who do you think was in charge of things when it was Regan-Bush? how the hell does a guy like Bush ever get elected President anyway. he's not attractive, or charming, or especially witty or interesting... he looks like an old dork. and they played up that whole Wimp thing. don't think the CIA doesn't think of things like this. if everybody thinks he's a Wimp, then you'll never believe he's the only Western leader ever to be convicted of a war crime. it's true, you can look it up. we invaded Nicaragua and killed a bunch of people and they didn't like that very much and took it up with this thing called the World Court, had you ever heard of the World Court? I hadn't, but, we rejected their decision that it wasn't right to Invade this country and kill all these people...anyway, Bush wants the OIL. he's had plenty of time and plenty of resources at his disposal to set everything up so that this country would go to War in the Middle East to secure the Oil patches. The US doesn't have that much oil left and they know it. Texas is pumped, lets face it, and they'll continue to rape the coastline and the Gulf and all that offshore crude, but that's why Little Georgie wants the Alaskan Wilderness opened up to Oil Companies- we're running out and they want to grab whats left while they still can. ...this has been brewing for a long time, I mean, Rome wasn't-[EVENT]... from the street outside, the scrreech of tires, Thud and crushed glass. Axel hyperventilates and has to find a paper bag, but is still compelled to actually leave his apartment and go see what happened. we go downstairs and outside on the pretext of going to the 7-11 across the street. the crystal quiet night is bathed in the nauseous swirl of siren light as a towtruck pulls a pickup out of a Volkswagen. someone's thrown a rock through the window of 7-11. the people on the sidewalk are all looking at down the street. I can't see what they're looking at and I can't hear a sound.
Back at work. early meeting and i've had too much coffee and am already sweating. try to make jokes, jot down notes, act like i'm busy... and the meeting hasn't even started...
in an room overlooking Philadelphia skyline of glass and silver, we convene begrudgingly to plot...
HeadofMarketingStrategyRudy: ok, clearly, consumers are going are going to be shaken up by this Tragedy- and I think they'll be asking themselves... asking themselves... Philip, what are they asking themselves?
CopyistPhil: they'll definitely be asking themselves questions... I agree..
HoMSRudy: but what Kind of questions? America has just been wounded! Livelihoods are at Stake here! what do consumers want??
[the table of people sit still and eyeing the floor mostly]
HoMSRudy: I know you all feel remorse for things, and that's good. I think that's perfect- let's talk about it- let's Use those feelings- what's going on with the Disney Project?
DisneyProjectCaptainGwen: well, Rudy, everyone.. of course, much has been made about the Viagra trends among the passing middle aged baby-boomer demographic, and we're projecting that that trend will hold and more empty-nesters are primed to revitalize sexual roots at Disney World.
HoMSRudy: Ok, fine, but what do they want- these baby-boomers- what is their inner most desire-
DPCGwenwhowilljust droneonifyoulether: well the babyboomers grew up in the safety and Jetsonesque 50's in very formative early childhood, but then the experienced the horror of the loss in Vietnam and the blossoming of the Counter-Culture Movement. it was a time of much confusion. their own lives were at stake and they questioned their universities and military institutions. Many Protested the Vietnam War or felt sympathy for the protesters but now feel a guilt about adopting this peacenik stance and blame it for loosing us Vietnam. They mostly made money in the eighties, lost it in the late eighties, and gained it back in the nineties under the inflated sums of the tech-boom, and have raised children who, incidentally, have responded positively to our 'suburban rebel-teen' models-
HoMSRudy: that's all well and good Gwen, but what can we sell to them?
DPCGwen: they want fantasy getaways, mostly, we think... this ties in with Viagra phenomenon that indicates empty-nesters are responding to their sexual urges again and wanting to feel right and comfortable about what they're doing.
HoMSRudy: anyone talking to the Sportscar People? the lamborghinis and whatnot- if there's dispensable income and a sexual need to spend then that must mean race cars, am I right? did you have more to say?
DPCGwen: only that the War on Terrorism is an opportunity to market to the babyboomers heavily with WWII type images and virtues, because it responds to their stimuli as children which they want to revisit now as they are beginning to feel the first real signs of aging and fears of death are beginning to surface [out of breath].
HoMSRudy: ok, ok, now we're getting somewhere- so the Disney Project is going for-
DPCGwen: the change-of-life-baby seekers- or at least those with disposable income looking for fantastic getaways...
HoMSRudy: and our angle is that it's our Patriotic Duty to Travel to Disney World- ohMYGOD- Philip, are you writing this down? we'll make Disney World the nation's Touchstone- everyone will come to it- from miles around- all the babyboomers who never grew up will be children again- Rightfully- Yes, Yes, this is going to Sell!! We'll Tell them to be children again- they were the 'First Disney Generation' now come back! ha! they'll eat it up!- Okay, enough Disney, what else do we have? what about Ford- have we a jingle yet? are there words ringing about in some corridor ready to spring forth wealth everlasting to me coffers? what say we Eustice? what melodious phrases will drive us into tomorrow?
us: well... [frozen in all the gleams of the boardroom's eyes who all know we haven't any jingles for Ford and just wait to hear the gruesome news- holding smiles so ridiculous that they inoculated themselves to ridicule, like wax potatoes with lips]...I was thinking of something like...um, (kindof pathetically singing) Balls to the Wall, um... Not Gonna Crawl, No, ... um, You're, uh, Sitting Tall Now, uh Answer the Call Now- Ford! (ending with confidence, wanting to bury my head in my hands and weep)
[hesitation to see how Rudy would react--]
HoMSRudy[breathing in real deep like and nodding]: ok, ok, I like it, I like it- Balls to Wall, Answer the Call- Ford- Yeah! I LikE! I LIKE! Consumers Will Believe it's Their Duty to Drive Trucks. It's What Being an American is all about- the right to have larger vehicle than your opponent on the road- WOW- did I just say opponent? Philip, check the tape- I'm having a vision...no, wait, it's just gas... no, wait- It is A ViSion- I can see it- Dunebuggies! Armament- Mad Max fantasies- we'll all be wandering through the desert battling it out for the last bit of Oil. it's going to be a big help in the battle if you have a big fuckin terror-mobile, ya know? are you with me? Philip, are you writing this down? DuneBuggies are the FUTURE! Balls to the Wall- You're Sitting Tall in a..DuneBuggy!- sing it with me people! DuneBuggies! Answer the Call- Dunebuggies! Anyway, Good. let's move then to the Untied We Stand campaign. We gotta move fast on this People-
Philip: pardon me sir, but the order is for United We Stand, sir...
HoMSRudy: Philip! You know how much I hate Sir Sandwiches! [stabs him in the hand with a pencil- Philip shrieks in pain, scuttles to clean up his mess]... ok, whoops it is 'UnIted' We Stand- sorry bout that, do you need some tissues? United makes alot more sense, don't you think? Untied might say it a little more accurately, but We'd Need to Stand United, as a Nation, right? I mean, so what's going to unite us?
DPCGwen: Viagra!
HoMSRudy: No, no, no... I mean What will Unite a People? People are only United out of Fear of an Outside threat- which we have, but if the terrorists don't do something else again soon, we'll wear ourselves assholes-out trying to fan the flames of this thing- I mean- I'm thinking something Prolonged, something that would divide America.. something that would Divide America into For and Against- We need to find out who will stick it out to the End- in History's Unmarked Bologna Sandwich- Who's going to...who's going to... Help Eat that Sandwich- who's going to... who's going to...
us: obey?
[evidently he'd been speaking to himself b/c the response gives him Pause]
HoMSRudy: ... obey... who's going to Obey? who's going to Rebel? What do they Obey? against what do they rebel? Who's in- Who's On board- Who's down for the count, who's come to the Mount- Who's With uS- are any of these sounding off any of you? - Who's Game? Who's Fame? Who's Name is Jane? I don't know- maybe- Are you Reichdeutch? Reichdeutch! ha! Get that one to the New York Office- the hip scene suffers for obscurities..... is any of this churning any ideas around? are you With me here? Eus, you're squirming there not wanting to say something- what is it? come on, more with obey... talk about Obey.
us: um... obey, to obey... to obey and not say, I guess... ...um, what... would come out naturally if just you let it... things you might say, but choose to obey... die inside maybe, and forget what you might have said...
[looking at the floor and jus kindof trailing off...]
HoMSRudy: ok, great... thanks for that, really. Would anyone else care to make some inane ramblings? [completing his joke and then to Eus] Are you on drugs?
us: no sir.
HoMSRudy: Philip, get Eustice some drugs- what flavor do you savor?
us: i'm making a point about information-
HoMSRudy: there's too much information, yeah, we've heard-
us: Not that there's too Much information but that the bulk of it is largely unproveable for...well, pretty much everybody- people just accept what tv tells them.
HoMSRudy: Thank God for that! am I right?
[some other nervous laughs, i'm feeling ill and talkative]
us: I mean, there's a trust there and people have ..um, faith that you're, well.. that... the information is Reality- or at least reflects reality. and I think that, I think that advertising United We Stand when we know that, well, that there are quite a few Americans who don't Stand UnIted, at least in the effort towards the War- I mean- don't we have a responsibility to at least advertise the truth?
[the was a long silence. a plastic bag, caught in
in-between-building zepherous-upgusts, spirals by the window...]
HoMSRudy: you're joking right?
us: No! [slamming fist to the table] I mean, the planet is running out of Oil and i'm doing jingles for trucks-
HoMSRudy: damnit Eus- I said DuneBuggies Were the Future!
us: it's all seduction into madness that I swallow Myself and my Soul with Every-
HoMSRudy: Were you ever called a drama queen? You're just being Alarmist-
us: Yes- Alarmist! Sound the Alarms! This is Political Propaganda for WAR- for More Terrorism!
HoMSRudy: for Chissakes, Eus, it's just a fuckin slogan-
us: A Phrase We'll Plaster everywhere on billboards and in bathroom stalls for Political Machines with their own Agenda- Anti-Democratic! Anti-HUman!
HoMSRudy [relaxing in his chair and grinning sarcastically]: Are you cracking up? Wow! I've always wanted to see someone crack! Please continue...
us: fuck you!
HoMSRudy: oh, you want to get fired is it?
us: fired? I quit [exits left]
HoMSRudy: Quit? you can't quit! - [yelling out the door now, down the hall] you have to at least try to get fired, right? I mean, if we fire you then you get a Benefits Package and Severance!! You're missing the chance to do something really Zany! come back here and kick me in the Balls! Come Kick Me in the Balls you WUSS! Bite my Pinky oFF- IDARE YOU!! TRIPPILEDOGDAREYOU!!
-remembering always Philip K. Dick's wisdom that finds heroism in tiny refusals, "you can always say no, refuse to participate..." wanting always to make tiny bigger.. I don't know, I don't know... I leave myself to the first northers of Autumn still tilting the shadows and shedding the trees in slow motion world death, each dying embers whispers the ghosts of Christmas Futures
The term Terrorists is expanded to include Terrorist Sympathizers, "Blame-America-Firsters", ACLU Lawyers, PETA activists, you and me. television brings us friends in the Agency, behind the scenes of a benevolent West Wing, tales of an honest Citizen Bush and the Golden Arc of the Covenant in the most effective propaganda mill history has ever known. News Entertainment, Entertainment News, Real Life Dramas, Reality Gameshows is all the rage("That President Bartlett is My Kinda Guy, huh uhc")... Car and Truck ads w/PRIDE.... Conzoliza Rice's One Hour Makeover...and people are beginning to ask themselves "Who Is the Weakest Link?".
The Weather is fastened to the skies and we have the overnight winter of Infinite Justice. Specialized Forces Infiltrate and Explode, the Taliban is already old news, The Age Of Global Liberty- must Smoke them out of Their Holes and bring the Terrorists to- say MacDonalds? Because right now on our New Dollar Menu we have- A Lengthy Campaign with Lots of Disturbing Pictures You're Going to Have to Find the Stomach for Or- Just Say "Supersize It" for- 40 billion dollar "relief" appropriation, passed by Congress in a special- sauce, lettuce-Jesus Was Rich! He Wore the Finest Clothes! Stayed in the Nicest Hotels! And He Wants You To- have a Coke and a- (blip!) power off, the magic show of light and sound disappear and the room falls silent...
it wouldn't be the city without sirens
always drifting in and out of the everpresent roadnoise background all
day and night
it wouldn't be the city without asphalt forever in all directions
creeping the Reganesque octopus arms of starsprinkled civilization's
starving need of scrap metal and fiber optic tongues and near death white
light meat want for more more and more-> drive to the ends of the earth-
you can- try the Pan American Highway to Neuvo Progresso Mexico, where
the poorest of the poorest wait under the border bridge, crying like
gulls on the shore where they can cry like gulls for the loose change you
don't give because you've come bargain hunting.
over the bridge for 5 dollar filet mignon, Cuervo Gold, and furniture for
a song, ignoring horrifying wails of malnourished accordions,
refusing Chicklets gum from a boy bearing a decorative crucifix complete
with Jesus nailed up, bleeding, sipping a Pina Colada in Holy nonchalance
and you don't even flinch, never for a second wondering what this's got
to do with you
and your lovely life in the airconditioned nightmare machinery of
America.
we live in (within) an aristocracy covered several layers thin,
complete comfort, dim, on couches through the nation watching
the world through the one guided eye of the power silos
and raising children who video tape themselves in their backyards
smashing each other over the head with metal chairs.
Welcome to America
I never thought i'd get used to it,
but it's years later than years before
and I don't hear anything anymore.... citywise that is,
the cars whoosh and shhhhooo hallucinated shadows carving the edges of
the room in a whispered rhythm
likealulledloopedshushingtapeofoceannoises
interssspersssssed with long periods of ssilence...
punct!uated by intermittent bursts of motorist exuberance-
driveshaft emotion realized in a mechanical Squawk amongst the flockers
the honkers, the geese are going bonkers in desperate deadlocked rush
hour traffic for hours without moving because of an accident only heard
about on the radio.
I dreamt a scene for the Schuykill Expressway: in the sweaty, post-work
afternoon, drivers stuck in bumper-to-bumper nobody going nowhere
total automotive paralysis kind of traffic, drivers
listening to the report from Suzy in the News Chopper
thumperbeating overhead turn off all that shit
stop honking desperate impotence to the air
turns off their cars
takes out their keys
and everybody stuck on the highway gets out,
goes to their trunks
gets out their tire irons
or anything blunt and heavy and preferably metal for smashing the
everloving Shit out of All the Cars-
Let the shattering of glass be upfront and personal!
Let the tearing of metal mean something inside!
leave the rotten carcass to rust and crumble,
just walk away,
or better yet- run.
imagine amber waves of grain and you on a tractor,
mowing and spewing the happy teeth of maniacal glee-
imagine a forest ancient as the stars as far as the eye can see,
and now strap chains to it and pull it down with your truck.
imagine sitting on a shoreline sucking down the ocean breeze,
squeezing a fistful of sand and peeing into the froth and wash
no light for hundreds of miles save the spectral glowings of sailboats
teetertottering crescent moons against a heaven of total blackness.
the stars coagulate and vomit a mess of marbled scattering that solidifies into a lovely bannastered stairway and well, what else but to suddenly find yourself in a truly awful white on white Regis-like color combo suit and tie, white spandex socks and white leather loafers with gold puritan buckles...
complimentary top hat and silver cane float down from outer space with 30's style big band with the cheesy white bandstand horn section and Krupastyle Kettle beating the shit out of that bass thaaang fills the vine covered culvert with thumpbumping, bouncesoff the backs of beach heads and row houses and barrels down the alley canyons if America dripping jasmine from slide trombones with a voice so fragile and clear it's hanging lewd laundry naked.
And do i take Top Hat and Cane?
Dance the stairway with fragile veins?
Eat Uncle-Sam Ham
for the 1000 year Reign?
sing along with the wailing moan?
"Daaaown at Club Limbo,
thhaaay still plaaaaaaaay STAAAAAaaaaaaarduust...
Down at Club Limbo,
thhaaaaaaats the plaaaaaaaaaace
for our luuuuuuvvvvvv...
© crossconnect 1995-2002 |
published in association with the |
university of pennsylvania's kelly writers house |
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